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Lofland bLOG

Welcome to Christen and Jerusha Lofland's blog. This is just a little spot for us (mostly Christen) to share tidbits with friends and family, archive thoughts and occasionally vent.

I have divided this blog up into categories, so that if you just showed up you can quickly find what you might want, or just read the posts below.

  • Recent Posts:

“Be silent! Keep your forked tongue behind your teeth. I did not pass through death and fire to banter words with a witless worm.” -Gandalf

Filed under Quotes on Monday, March 31st, 2008 @ 11:28am by Christen

“Be silent! Keep your forked tongue behind your teeth. I did not pass through death and fire to banter words with a witless worm.” -Gandalf

“If we could assemble all the antimatter we’ve ever made at CERN and annihilate it with matter, we would have enough energy to light a single electric light bulb for a few minutes.”

Filed under Quotes on Monday, March 31st, 2008 @ 11:20am by Christen

“If we could assemble all the antimatter we’ve ever made at CERN and annihilate it with matter, we would have enough energy to light a single electric light bulb for a few minutes.”

“They got him so screwed up running in circles; he’s forgotten what he was born to do.he just needs to learn to be a horse again.”

Filed under Quotes on Wednesday, March 5th, 2008 @ 4:32pm by Christen

In “Seabiscuit” trainer Tom Smith says of Seabiscuit: “They got him so screwed up running in circles; he’s forgotten what he was born to do.he just needs to learn to be a horse again.”


Filed under Knowledge Base on Wednesday, November 14th, 2007 @ 5:01pm by Christen


IBM Remote Insight Board (RSA) causing Windows XP to blue screen (BSOD) when attempting to remote control a system.

Filed under Knowledge Base on Wednesday, November 14th, 2007 @ 1:12pm by Christen

IBM Remote Insight Board (RSA) causing Windows XP to blue screen (BSOD) when attempting to remote control a system.

Was getting a BAD_POOL_HEADER error, with stop code: 0x00000019 & 0x1A020001 almost every time I tried a remote control session.

That error code seems to be device driver related according to my research, but what device drivers are involved in a Java application in Internet Explorer?

The solution was to remove the SD card from the card reader in my laptop!

My guess is that the part of the remote control that allows you to map a local drive or file to be mounted by the remote system was causing a crash when it saw the SD card while going through my local drives to find suitable devices for the local drive list.

Søren Kierkegaard, as quoted by Vernard Eller in Simple Life

Filed under Quotes on Friday, November 9th, 2007 @ 10:26am by Christen

When the prosperous man on a dark but starlit night drives comfortably in his carriage and has the lanterns lighted, aye, then he is safe, he fears no difficulty, he carries his light with him and it is not dark close around him; but precisely because he has the lanterns lighted, and has a strong light close to him, precisely for this reason he cannot see the stars, for his lights obscure the starts, which the poor peasant driving without the lights can see gloriously in the dark but starry night. So those deceived ones live in the temporal existence: either, occupied with the necessities of life, they are too busy to avail themselves of the view, or in the prosperity and good days they have—as it were lanterns lighted and close about them—everything is so satisfactory, so pleasant, so comfortable, but the view is lacking, the prospect, the view of the stars.
—Søren Kierkegaard, as quoted by Vernard Eller in Simple Life

Second Hand Lions – from Hub – “There are some things that a man has to believe in. It doesn’t matter if they are true or not; what matters is believing.”

Filed under Quotes on Tuesday, October 9th, 2007 @ 11:45am by Christen

Second Hand Lions – from Hub – “There are some things that a man has to believe in. It doesn’t matter if they are true or not; what matters is believing.”


Filed under Quotes on Wednesday, October 3rd, 2007 @ 11:37am by Christen

Gabriel Marcel speaks of “availability” as a “being who is ready for
anything, the opposite of him who is occupied or cluttered up with himself.”

It’s like spending a day at the state fair: a little bit of actual entertainment, a lot of embarrassingly cheesy attempts at entertainment, and the faint whiff of bull crap everywhere. –Eric D. Snider

Filed under Quotes on Monday, July 9th, 2007 @ 2:32pm by Christen

About the Transformers Movie, a blogger (mormon?) said:
It’s like spending a day at the state fair: a little bit of actual entertainment, a lot of embarrassingly cheesy attempts at entertainment, and the faint whiff of bull crap everywhere. –Eric D. Snider

“To a small boy, his father is more than his father – he’s his vision of his future, his portrait of adult manhood. If that vision is discredited, then growing up itself is discredited.” — J. Budziszewski

Filed under Quotes on Monday, July 9th, 2007 @ 1:06pm by Christen

“To a small boy, his father is more than his father – he’s his vision of his future, his portrait of adult manhood. If that vision is discredited, then growing up itself is discredited.” — J. Budziszewski

Reconcile Friends

Filed under Quotes on Monday, June 18th, 2007 @ 3:10pm by Christen

According to a Christianity Today article:

Charles Spurgeon, when asked to reconcile human freedom with divine
predestination, said, “I never reconcile friends.” He maintained that the
two realities fit together.

“You cannot grow a beard in a moment of passion.” – G.K. Chesterton

Filed under Quotes on Friday, June 15th, 2007 @ 9:35am by Christen

“You cannot grow a beard in a moment of passion.” – G.K. Chesterton

Just dropping a line

Filed under Xanga on Monday, June 4th, 2007 @ 4:48pm by Christen

Currently Listening to All That You Can’t Leave Behind by U2

I love this line:

“The only baggage you can bring is all that you can’t leave behind.”

Could be applied to so many things from walking with God to web design. 🙂

Then there is this from David Crowder:

“I’m finding everything I’ll ever need by giving up gaining everything.”

Then from Michael Card:

“It’s hard to imagine the freedom we find from the things we leave behind.”

Mark 10:21 – Then Jesus beholding him loved him, and said unto him, One thing thou lackest: go thy way, sell whatsoever thou hast, and give to the poor, and thou shalt have treasure in heaven: and come, take up the cross, and follow me.

An Answer?

Filed under Xanga on Friday, May 25th, 2007 @ 11:00am by Christen

The reason one of the quotes I used in my last post rang so deeply with me was that it pointed to something I’ve been pondering deep in my heart for a while:

“but I felt as if this were an unearthly consummation of my happiness, that never had been meant to be, and never could have been.”

In other words, is the deep desire and longing that pervades my life at times actually a normal part of the Christian experience, that I am supposed to accept? Is it part of the knowledge of God and Heaven that is within me? Is it actually a good thing and not a bad one? Is seeking to fulfill or stop it actually a bad thing?

Is it part of the curse on the earth (“all creation groans in anticipation”)? Is it a bad thing we hang our heads under, but endure nevertheless?

Or is it a curse that can be lifted, and we should fight it with the tools God gives us, rather than living in bondage to it?

Or is it part of our tie with Christ? Our feeling in our bones the same longing that He has felt? A blessing and badge of honor that we should be proud of?

Then there was this post by the person I consider my second best friend next to my wife:


What do you think?

Posted 5/25/2007 11:00 AM


You don’t know me. But here is my opinion on what you wrote. I think that we all to often as Christians think that the longings that God gave us are something to be ashamed of. And then we do walk around with our heads hang down. But I think that it is a blessing from God because that helps us understand Jesus longings. God gave us feelings for a reason and that is exactly how he intended for them to be used. They should be a badge of honor because it helps us to understand Christ love and desire to save us. So yes they are something we should be proud of.
Posted 5/26/2007 9:32 AM by Tinleg

Psalm 27

4 One thing have I asked of the Lord,
that will I seek after:
that I may dwell in the house of the Lord
all the days of my life,
to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord
and to inquire in his temple.

5 For he will hide me in his shelter
in the day of trouble;
he will conceal me under the cover of his tent;
he will lift me high upon a rock.

6 And now my head shall be lifted up
above my enemies all around me,
and I will offer in his tent
sacrifices with shouts of joy;
I will sing and make melody to the Lord.

7 Hear, O Lord, when I cry aloud;
be gracious to me and answer me!
8 You have said, “Seek [4] my face.”
My heart says to you,
“Your face, Lord, do I seek.” [5]
9 Hide not your face from me.
Turn not your servant away in anger,
O you who have been my help.
Cast me not off; forsake me not,
O God of my salvation!
10 For my father and my mother have forsaken me,
but the Lord will take me in.

11 Teach me your way, O Lord,
and lead me on a level path
because of my enemies.
12 Give me not up to the will of my adversaries;
for false witnesses have risen against me,
and they breathe out violence.

13 I believe that I shall look upon the goodness of the Lord
in the land of the living!
14 Wait for the Lord;
be strong, and let your heart take courage;
wait for the Lord!

This scripture really made me think of you. The writer’s heart, and desire for God, his seeking after God’s will, and his deep cry to the Lord for Him to answer. In the midst of all this, the writer also has hope and worships the Lord with great joy, recounting His Salvation, and he ends by reminding himself to take courage and wait for the Lord. There aren’t necessarily any answers to your questions here, but at least we can see that these feeling you are experiencing have been felt by other men of God, and, because of Scripture we know, that God did honor and answer these cries. 🙂 God has really placed you on my heart through all this, and I will be praying for you.

Your sister in Christ,


PS: Micah’s post rocks, and I’ll have to respond to it on his web page. 🙂
Posted 5/26/2007 12:02 PM by Tegwenava

Is not the petition of the Lord’s prayer like this? “Thy kingdom come….” Who can say that God has answered this prayer? Yet God is answering it, and we keep asking, pursuing, longing, groaning.

“Come quickly, Lord Jesus!”
Posted 5/26/2007 2:15 PM by jonathan_camenisch

Am I a man or a bird? or What should the spider do?

Filed under Xanga on Thursday, May 17th, 2007 @ 11:17am by Christen

From David Copperfield, by Charles Dickens:

“I search my breast, and I commit its secrets, if I know them, … to this paper. The old unhappy loss or want of something had, I am conscious, some place in my heart; but not to the embitterment of my life. When I walked alone in the fine weather, and thought of the summer days when all the air had been filled with my boyish enchantments, I did miss something of the realization of my dreams; but I thought it was a softened glory of the past, which nothing could have thrown upon the present time. I did feel, sometimes, for a little while, that I could have wished my wife had been my counselor; had had more character and purpose, to sustain me, and improve me by; had been endowed with power to fill up the void which somewhere seemed to be about me; but I felt as if this were an unearthly consummation of my happiness, that never had been meant to be, and never could have been.”

“The old unhappy feelings pervaded my life. It was deepened, if it were changed at all; but it was as undefined as ever, and addressed me like a strain of sorrowful music faintly heard in the night. … I was happy; but the happiness I had vaguely anticipated, once, was not the happiness I enjoyed, and there was always something wanting.
“… What I missed, I still regarded-I always regarded-as something that had been a dream of my youthful fancy; that was incapable of realization; that I was now discovering to be so, with some natural pain, as all men did. But, that it would have been better for me if my wife could have helped me more, and shared the many thoughts in which I had no partner; and that this might have been; I knew.
“Between these two irreconcilable conclusions: the one, that what I felt was general and unavoidable; the other, that it was particular to me, and might have been different: I balanced curiously, with no distinct sense of their opposition to each other. When I thought of the airy dreams of youth that are incapable of realization, I thought of the better state preceding manhood that I had outgrown.”

The old unhappy loss or want of something had

I did miss something of the realization of my dreams; but I thought it was a softened glory of the past, which nothing could have thrown upon the present time.

but I felt as if this were an unearthly consummation of my happiness, that never had been meant to be, and never could have been.

Between these two irreconcilable conclusions: the one, that what I felt was general and unavoidable; the other, that it was particular to me, and might have been different: I balanced curiously, with no distinct sense of their opposition to each other.

David was finding that his marriage did not bring quite the happiness that he had anticipated. He felt this was a combination of simply learning about the realities of life and of decisions he had made. He was really not sure what the problem was.

These words sunk deep into my heart when I head them read last week, for the describe my feelings about my current employment almost exactly. While David needed the patience to deal with the thing he could not change, I need the courage to deal with what I can. I’m not sure which is harder. I think it would be easier to just accept my employment as unchangeable and learn to live with the sense of loss, than to strike out anew at this point. I’m not sure even what I should do. I need the wisdom to know the difference!

I feel that I am at a crisis point in my faith. I feel strange using that term, because I’ve “been there” for some years now, but it is building like a storm. I really must discover and decide certain things about God in order to move forward. Who I perceive God to be must either have a profound impact on my life, or my life should just fit into the “mold” that God has made all life to be.

Am I a bird or a man? Birds fulfill God’s purpose for their lives simply by being birds. They do nothing special, only their role. I have traveled for some time under that same mentality. I am a bird. I make a living, I build a home, I find a wife, I raise my kids, I function according to God’s design for the universe, and thus I glorify Him.

IS that right? Or should God have such a profound impact on my life that I do NOT fit into this world, but am a stranger and a pilgrim, not just figuratively, but even more in reality?

Feeling this point with particular strength yesterday, as it had grown over our recent vacation, I started watching Spider Man 2 last night. I really was completely unprepared to be hit in the face with my exact question. I’d seen the movie before, but forgot just how applicable it is to my situation. (Perhaps this shows that I was not feeling this so strongly when I last saw the movie.)

What should Spider Man do? Should he ditch the clown suit, do his homework and hold down a steady job so he can provide for the girl he loves and raise a family? Perhaps even save his Aunt’s house from being repossessed? Or should he be what God made him to be, put on the suit, fight crime, go out into the world and do good and noble deeds for the good of all mankind while his own family suffers the inevitable consequences?

Whose hero should he be?

Should I stay in a very well paying, very steady job with lots of paid vacation time, regardless of if the work does absolutely no good for mankind and bores and numbs me so badly that I feel it is literally eating away at my soul? Or should I leave all of this luxury and commit my life to serving God full time in some sort of ministry where I can work with people and do some good in this world, allowing my family to suffer the difficulties of living without? Without financial ease to buy the things we need as we need them, without medical/dental insurance to quickly diagnose and treat any ailment that may come along, without paid vacation time to build our relationships?

I’m not sure which one is right, which one is God’s direction?

Both have selfish motives for me. I stay with my good job so that my family does not suffer and I do not have to deal with the stress of finances. I leave my good job so that I can seek personal fulfillment by serving God and others.

The question is, which direction do I go, and why? I must either sell my soul to the devil or to God, but I can’t differentiate the two! I hear the two voices in my head and I do not know which is which.

Am I a bird, meant to glorify God by simply being steady, denying my heart, and working hard to provide for my nest? Or am I a super hero, meant to glorify God by serving people, denying my family the comfortable life that I know i could provide for them?

Do I have a choice to make, and if so which one? Or is this all just the lost of my boyish fantasy, finding out the reality of life, feeling the deep pain in my soul that is common to all men on earth? Should I just count my blessings, apply myself to the task I have before me, and be a good bird for God?

Posted 5/17/2007 11:17 AM


Why, do you suppose am I currently unemployed and doing part time work for my dad’s company to keep bills paid, when I could be out earning my keep?

I hear ya LOUD and CLEAR bro! If you find a definitive, rather than just a subjective answer, let me know!

Till then– It’s a bird, it’s a plane, it’…, it’s…, it’s…– You, me, Spidey, and Superman!
Posted 5/18/2007 5:19 PM by Krash2Fly

Wow. What a question. I wish you a way towards the answer even if you can’t find it now.
Posted 5/21/2007 8:27 PM by Godseeker23

Hey Christen,

First, I just want to say how much I respect you for being willing, to not only struggle with these thoughts that might be easier to just ignore, but also for being willing to share them with others, some of which you haven’t even met J. I truly admire your heart to seek God’s will for your life, and to admit struggle even when you are an adult with a family. I know that God is pleased when we admit our need for Him and cry out for his help. “If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him. But let him ask in faith, with no doubting.” James 1:5-6

May I suggest one thought? Have you considered that you might be battling a false dichotomy? Perhaps God has provided a way in which men may serve him with their whole lives, while still living in the station to which he was called, according to the gifts he has been given. This passage from 1 Corinthians 7 is very good:

“17 Only let each person lead the life that the Lord has assigned to him, and to which God has called him. This is my rule in all the churches. 18 Was anyone at the time of his call already circumcised? Let him not seek to remove the marks of circumcision. Was anyone at the time of his call uncircumcised? Let him not seek circumcision. 19 For neither circumcision counts for anything nor uncircumcision, but keeping the commandments of God. 20 Each one should remain in the condition in which he was called. 21 Were you a slave when called? Do not be concerned about it. (But if you can gain your freedom, avail yourself of the opportunity.) 22 For he who was called in the Lord as a slave is a freedman of the Lord. Likewise he who was free when called is a slave of Christ. 23 You were bought with a price; do not become slaves of men. 24 So, brothers, in whatever condition each was called, there let him remain with God.”

Paul touches on many topics here, but one thing we can undoubtably gather from the passage is that God enabled each of us to live abundant and sacrificial lives for Him, regardless of where we find ourselves. Paul is encouraging those who find themselves in difficult situations not to feel as though they must be in full time ministry, or even economic freedom, in order to please and serve the Lord. In fact, most of our brothers and sisters, throughout history, have had vocational jobs that simply supported their local economy. Even though this may seem less glamorous than the work of a missionary, I don’t believe that it is any less worthy in God’s sight. When we as Christians spread the gospel, it is these very people that we are reaching out to. Jesus was a carpenter for almost his whole life (as far as we know). There is no doubt that each of us are called to live passionate lives for our savior, abandoning the world, our own ambitions and comfort in order to advance his Kingdom. This is clear in scripture. But maybe we have the ability to do this no matter our vocation, station, salary or situation.

“Religion that is pure and undefiled before God, the Father, is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world.” James 1:27.

“Since therefore Christ suffered in the flesh, arm yourselves with the same way of thinking, for whoever has suffered in the flesh has ceased from sin, 2 so as to live for the rest of the time in the flesh no longer for human passions but for the will of God.” 1 Pet 4:1-2

The cool thing about this is that scripture also tells us what the will of God is for us:

“And we urge you, brothers, admonish the idle, encourage the fainthearted, help the weak, be patient with them all. 15 See that no one repays anyone evil for evil, but always seek to do good to one another and to everyone. 16 Rejoice always, 17 pray without ceasing, 18 give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” I Thes 5:14-17

The good news is that Christ died, and we have been buried with him, and that now he has given us his righteousness and worth before God. Jesus called us to “sell everything and follow him” but through other passages in the Bible, I think that for most of us this usually means selling all of our pre-conceptions, ambitions and expectations and then going where-ever he calls us to go- even if He’s calling us to something that doesn’t appear to be helpful. There are so many encouraging examples of this in the Bible. One of my favorites is David, the supposedly future King of Israel, when he was living with the Philistines- the very enemies of Israel whom he had defeated when he killed Goliath. No doubt that he felt pretty confused and wondered if his life was pointless at those times. No doubt he wondered if all the prophesies and hopes were no more than a dream of his youth. But God was leading David, in places he would never have chosen, and yet David continually sought to inquire of the Lord, and to only go where the Lord promised to go before him.

Christen, I have no idea what the will of the Lord is for your life. I have no doubt that he has prepared many good works for you. And I would guess that this will look different at different times of your life. Perhaps God has a vocational ministry in store for you. That would be so wonderful, and I respect your faith and willingness to follow Him there, if he were to call you. But I just want to encourage you, if He were to call you to remain in your current situation, that no matter where you are, that you don’t have to just be a bird. That there are opportunities all around us, in our homes, churches and communities, provided by God, to bring him glory and to do his work. In fact, if you are financially stable you probably have even more lee-way than most to serve others around you. I’m sure there are many people around you that could benefit, simply from a gift of hospitality, wisdom, knowledge and fellowship that you could offer them. I know for a fact that God has given you and Jerusha many beautiful giftings. One of the most wonderful “games” or adventures in life is discovering ways to use them. J

I hope this is encouraging to you. I know that Jared and I have to struggle with and remember these things regularly (I mean, the prospect of being a stay at home mom can feel pretty insignificant and unglamorous compared to being an evangelist to the inner city or the middle east- yet imagine how many Christians have been called to this). But what is so cool is that God never ceases to surprise us, by using us to serve, encourage and spread the good news to others- even if it happens in the most unexpected ways J (ask Jared, he could tell you some crazy stories). May the Lord bless you and continue to show you His will. I can’t wait to see all of the wonderful things He will undoubtedly do in your life. J

“7 Show yourself in all respects to be a model of good works, and in your teaching show integrity, dignity, 8 and sound speech that cannot be condemned, so that an opponent may be put to shame, having nothing evil to say about us. 9 Slaves are to be submissive to their own masters in everything; they are to be well-pleasing, not argumentative, 10 not pilfering, but showing all good faith, so that in everything they may adorn the doctrine of God our Savior.” Titus 2:7-10

Our Lord be with you,

Posted 5/22/2007 7:57 AM by Tegwenava

Well, yeah, but you could just buy a new cell phone. You have to do that anyway. And I think it was Jared who first demonstrated to me how to do that =)
Posted 5/22/2007 10:54 AM by madhatterb78

HPUX Commands

Filed under Unix Notes on Wednesday, May 2nd, 2007 @ 9:50am by Christen

HPUX single user mode.

when it is booting, wait for the “hit any key” and do so

mount -a : mounts everything, which may be important if in single user mode, which mounts only /

Use these commands to see what boot device you are using/should be using:
lvlnboot -v

Quick SUN Solaris Disk commands

Filed under Unix Notes on Wednesday, May 2nd, 2007 @ 9:45am by Christen

Commands to see what you have for disks on Solaris:
vxdisk list
iostat -En
luxadm display FCloop
These are all “harmless” commands that just display info.

Fun with the Environment

Filed under Xanga on Monday, April 30th, 2007 @ 3:40pm by Christen

This article was really fun:

Seems like maybe someone isn’t really thinking things through. This sounds a lot worse than drilling in Alaska. 😉

Posted 4/30/2007 3:40 PM

1 Comment:

Posted 5/1/2007 12:05 PM by jonathan_camenisch


Filed under Xanga on Friday, April 27th, 2007 @ 2:01pm by Christen

As a follow up to my previous blog about the ocean of information we live in


I wanted to mention AI. This is where artificial intelligence is going now. This is what we need it for. Currently we have many great tools for navigating the ocean of information. Google is one of those we think of first. Do many of you remember the days before Google? I used Alta Vista, which was set up by Digital to showcase how powerful their servers were. (Which makes the fact that Google has tended to use PC class equipment somewhat of an irony.) It did index the web, but that was about it. It was a real art to craft a search query that would get you what you wanted. Even then, it was hard to know if you got the “best” hits. Google revolutionized web searching. Now we don’t have home pages with lists of sites we found useful, some of us don’t even use bookmarks. We can count on Google to consistently find us good content.

Google is a hugely poor tool, though, considering how much information is out there. Consider these two questions:

Where can I find a florist in Oklahoma City?

If I buy a Garmin GPS receiver for my smartphone, and want to put maps of the Eastern half of the United States onto my smartphone’s SD card, how much space will it take?

The answers to both questions are contained in information alone. The answer to both questions are on the web. Google will answer one of them well, but not the other.

What we need from AI is not a computer to “think” for us, but for a computer to parse our human language and then use the ocean of information to bring answers. So while AI can never answer the question, “Which car will I enjoy driving the most?” (other than based on statistics), it will be able to answer, “How much fuel per month will I save driving a Miata versus driving a Subaru WRX?”

AI is not going to replace human creativity, but how much human time is wasted gathering answers from information? When AI can take over more and more of the jobs of gathering answers from information, then we can be more and more free to use our time on creative pursuits.

Posted 4/27/2007 2:01 PM


I don’t have anything intelligent to add to this, but since you mention AI, there’s something that strikes me funny. Now that AI is no longer a buzzword we hear very much, it’s a successful tool we use in everyday life.
Posted 4/28/2007 12:57 PM by jonathan_camenisch

> I haven’t dug into it lately, but I’m not sure we really
> have a good definition for what AI is yet, so we don’t
> know if we’ve “achieved it” or not. 🙂

Well, let me know when you find a proper definition. But it seems to me that what Google does is present an artificial illusion of intelligence–just not as much intelligence as you are hoping for.

I don’t think we will ever be able to say someone has “achieved it.”

Oh, and SPAM filters also use some forms of artificial intelligence. Pretty crude compared to the cyborgs on T2 or whatever, but its aim is “intelligence.”
Posted 4/29/2007 8:16 AM by jonathan_camenisch

Why do I even bother?

Filed under Xanga on Friday, April 27th, 2007 @ 1:38pm by Christen

This is just a rant without much meaning.

Do you ever wonder why you even bother working?

AT&T is a big company, one of the biggest in America, and its CEO is retiring:


Now this is what he gets for NOT working:
According to a proxy filing with the Securities and Exchange Commission, Whitacre’s retirement package will include $24,000 in annual automobile benefits, $6,500 each year for “home security,” and $25,000 to cover his country-club fees, The Wall Street Journal said.

Now let me think about that. That means that he can buy my car sixteen times, per year! He can make my monthly house payment with the money he is spending on his “home security.” In less than four years he can buy my house for what he is paying for his country-club membership.

All in all, his retirement package is valued at $158.5 MILLION!

I can get a 5.5% interest rate on a savings account with over $100,000 in it, so if I put ONE million dollars in that, I can make 55,000 per year in INTEREST. I make a little more than that now, but my family could live off of that. And that is just a savings account, much better returns can be had on large sums like one million dollars through other investments.

In other words, I could live 158.5 lifetimes on what he will get for his retirement.

In other words, I am working 40 to 50 hours a week for really small potatoes. One starts to wonder why even bother? It is obvious that AT&T could set 158 (and a half) people free for life if their CEO could just be happy to live like “the rest of us.”

Just what am I working for, and just what are we paying for when we buy goods like phone service, cell phones, etc?

Honestly the whole thing just devalues money in general. If it is thrown around that freely, maybe it isn’t really worth anything after all. Maybe it isn’t even worth my time, and if money isn’t worth anyone’s time, then it isn’t worth anything at all.

You are not alone, not even weird!

Filed under Xanga on Thursday, April 26th, 2007 @ 2:28pm by Christen

Isn’t it interesting that everyone can pretty much think the same thing and yet all assume that everyone else thinks something else?

Adolescence is that way. Everyone thinks they are weird, and that everyone else thinks so, when really everyone is just thinking they are weird.

Actually, one thing that helped me as a teenager to get over my constant worry that everyone thought I was stupid was that my mom would just tell me that everyone was too busy thinking about themselves to think about me. 🙂

Anyway, apparently the city I live in has this complex. We all like our town, but we think each other all hate it. At least according to this article:


Posted 4/26/2007 2:28 PM

1 Comment:

Yeah, except that with adolescence, adults get over the feeling, usually learn to not be very alive anymore, and look at you strangely when you talk about what you’re feeling. So people don’t usually talk about it: they get weird looks.
Posted 4/28/2007 3:48 PM by Godseeker23

Do I love you?

Filed under Xanga on Thursday, April 26th, 2007 @ 2:19pm by Christen

. . . was a rather funny and deep line from Fiddler on the Roof that I think of often.

This is a good article on “liking” God:


Posted 4/26/2007 2:19 PM


Good essay. Thanks for the link.
Posted 4/27/2007 12:12 PM by jonathan_camenisch

Yeah, I talked with a guy a few days ago who had never ever known that God liked him. All his life! And he was the kind of God-follower you want to be like. He realized it that day. It was cool.
Posted 4/28/2007 3:53 PM by Godseeker23

Sign of the Times

Filed under Xanga on Wednesday, April 25th, 2007 @ 1:18pm by Christen

This add made me laugh out loud:
Newspaper Add
When I saw “browse off-line” what came to mind was something to do with my new Smartphone, not a newspaper, and the way it states “IN PRINT” just makes me smile. 🙂

I should do more off-line browsing.
Posted 4/25/2007 1:18 PM

1 Comment:

Lol, that was good. But then, if it isn’t the Sabath, wouldn’t the Lord’s day be every day? And it was ok that we did all that since we did it “heartily, as unto the Lord.”
Posted 4/25/2007 9:55 PM by madhatterb78

Why I sold the Mustang and bought a Miata

Filed under Xanga on Wednesday, April 25th, 2007 @ 12:24pm by Christen

American muscle cars are fun for a while, but it just gets old. Here is a fun little fact sheet that goes around the office email humor list periodically:

Acceleration, Put Into Perspective

* One Top Fuel dragster 500 cubic-inch Hemi engine makes more
horsepower than the first 4 rows at the Daytona 500.
* Under full throttle, a dragster engine consumes 11.2 gallons of
nitro methane per second; a fully loaded 747 consumes jet fuel at the
same rate with 25% less energy being produced.
* A stock Dodge Hemi V8 engine cannot produce enough power to merely
drive the dragster’s supercharger.
* With 3000 CFM of air being rammed in by the supercharger on
overdrive, the fuel mixture is compressed into a near-solid form
before ignition. Cylinders run on the verge of hydraulic lock at full
* At the stoichiometric 1.7:1 air/fuel mixture for nitro methane the
flame front temperature measures 7050 degrees F.
* Nitro methane burns yellow. The spectacular white flame seen
Above the stacks at night is raw burning hydrogen, dissociated from
atmospheric water vapor by the searing exhaust gases.
* Dual magnetos supply 44 amps to each spark plug. This is the
Output of an arc welder in each cylinder.
* Spark plug electrodes are totally consumed during a pass. After
½ way, the engine is dieseling from compression plus the glow of
exhaust valves at 1400 degrees F. The engine can only be shut down by
cutting the fuel flow.
* If spark momentarily fails early in the run, unburned nitro builds
up in the affected cylinders and then explodes with sufficient force
to blow cylinder heads off the block in pieces or split the block in
* Dragsters reach over 300 MPH before you have completed reading
This sentence.
* In order to exceed 300 MPH in 4.5 seconds, dragsters must accelerate
an average of over 4 G’s. In order to reach 200 MPH well before
half-track, the launch acceleration approaches 8 G’s.
* Top Fuel engines turn approximately 540 revolutions from light to
* Including the burnout, the engine must only survive 900
revolutions under load.
* The redline is actually quite high at 9500 RPM.
* THE BOTTOM LINE: Assuming all the equipment is paid off, the crew
worked for free, & for once, NOTHING BLOWS UP, each run costs an
estimated $1,000 per second.

* The current Top Fuel dragster elapsed time record is 4.441 seconds
for the quarter-mile (10/05/03, Tony Schumacher).
The top speed record is 333.00 MPH (533 km/h) as measured over the
last 66′ of the run(09/28/03, Doug Kalitta).

Putting this all into perspective:
You are driving the average $140,000 Lingenfelter twin-turbo powered
Corvette Z06. Over a mile up the road, a Top Fuel dragster is staged &
ready to launch down a quarter-mile strip as you pass. You have the
advantage of a flying start. You run the ‘Vette hard up through the
gears and blast across the starting line & pass the dragster at an
honest 200 MPH. The ‘tree’ goes green for both of you at that moment.
The dragster launches & starts after you. You keep your foot down
hard, but you hear an incredibly brutal whine that sears your eardrums
& within 3 seconds the dragster catches & passes you. He beats you to
the finish line, a quarter-mile away from where you just passed him.
Think about it – from a standing start, the dragster had spotted you
200 MPH & not only caught, but nearly blasted you off the road when he
passed you within a mere 1320 foot long race! That, is acceleration!

Which is basically why I sold my Mustang GT and now drive a 1.6 liter Miata. The
horsepower game is just a matter of how much money you can pour into a given hole in
a given amount of time. There is always someone who has more money than you who can,
therefore, go faster.

I mean, after reading this, who really cares how fast your [insert
any car you please here] can do the quarter mile?

What that top fuel car cannot do, is turn. 😉

It’s a small small world.

Filed under Xanga on Wednesday, April 25th, 2007 @ 8:09am by Christen

After watching the presentation on “Shift Happens” about how exploding populations on China and India make America start to pale in comparison, here is another presentation to show us just how small we are:

The Size Of Our World

Juxtapose that with the fact that matter is mostly empty space filled with particles that are so small we can hardly imagine them, much less detect them, and it is clear that God is really into absolutely insane ranges of scale.

Posted 4/25/2007 8:09 AM

1 Comment:

No, I said Sunday. The Sabath was the day before.
Posted 4/25/2007 8:53 AM by madhatterb78

SSH to SSH slow

Filed under Unix Notes on Monday, April 23rd, 2007 @ 11:37am by Christen

I have noticed that sometimes when you ssh into one system, and then try to ssh into another system from there, it hangs for a while during the login.

ssh hostname

If you TELNET into the first server and then SSH from there, it is MUCH faster!

using ssh -v hostname showed me that it was hanging when trying to set up X11 forwarding, so a quick fix was like this:

ssh -x hostname

And it should go much faster. This is especially noticeable in for loops like this:

for i in $(cat SystemList);do ssh -x $i ‘hostname;cat /etc/passwd’ >> output;done;less output;rm output

Swim, don’t drink.

Filed under Xanga on Monday, April 23rd, 2007 @ 10:34am by Christen

Currently Listening to The World As Best As I Remember It, Volume 1 by Rich Mullins

First, here is a very interesting presentation, if the link isn’t dead yet:


And then these facts:

“It took two centuries to fill the U.S. Library of Congress in Washington, DC, with more than 29 million books and periodicals, 2.7 million recordings, 12 million photographs, 4.8 million maps, and 57 million manuscripts. Today it takes about 15 minutes for the world to churn out an equivalent amount of new digital information. It does so about 100 times every day, for a grand total of 5 exabytes annually.” http://www.spectrum.ieee.org/jul05/1568

“The first disk drive in 1956 stored 2,000 bits per square inch. In disk drives today, the figure is as high as 135 billion bits per square inch. That’s almost a 70 million fold increase! And in the next 5 years, we will ship m ore disk drives than we shipped in the first 50 years.” – Currie Munce, Hitachi Global Storage Technologies

Our world has undergone a huge change, and we in it.

I remember hearing about a man who lived some centuries ago who had read everything available in print in several languages. That was entirely possible for someone who was literate enough , but more importantly, wealthy enough to do so.

Information was something you drank in. You drank it and it became a part of you. Universities would be a place full of books and people full of information from which you took it in. Like huge drinking fountains.

Today you can no longer drink information. It is as if drinking in the Ocean. No, instead we must navigate it. We must learn to swim in it, or drown in it. Universities, rather than drinking fountains, are now schools to teach SCUBA diving.

Dealing with information today is as different from the past as drinking a glass of water is from SCUBA diving. It is still water, but what we can and must do with it is totally different.

Posted 4/23/2007 10:34 AM


Wow, I really like your description. Very poignant. And I completely agree about modern Universities. virtually all literary scholars have to come to grips with the fact that we will likely never come up with an original literary idea, and even for those who do, the vast majority of our academic lives will actually be spent sifting and swimming through mountains of other people’s theories, ideas and findings that we will then apply in our own way, to make our own arguments. It’s nuts. Comp I has for the most part been narrowed down to: teach them how to read, teach them how to find info (research) and regurgitate it back, in a format centered around citing sources (MLA/APA): thus the research paper. That is the basic building block of all language-oriented studies. It really tells you something. Good post.

Posted 4/23/2007 11:24 AM by Tegwenava

Yes, how true. And who knows what to make of all this. I’m torn between the reality that the world is irreversibly changed and changing, and wondering if we should try to reverse some of the effects. For instance, all the swimming in the sea of information seems to make me an info-bulimic. I drink it in and spit it up, then drink in some more. It’s so hard to absorb anything.

And then there’s the problem of having to re-learn skills all the time as tools change. Programmers who mastered procedural programming soon had to get their heads around object-oriented programming (and few did, it seems), and now there’s functional programming, service-oriented, etc. In older arts, the discipline is stable. Accountants never have to re-learn the subtleties of credit and debit, because the concepts were set it stone long ago. Part of me longs for the day when today’s new things become old and stable, so we can figure out what it takes to master them.

Maybe these are “good” problems to have. But I don’t think our education prepares us well to handle it all. And who knows how it should?

I also think you like it. You’re the guy that likes learning new gadgets, and even overhauling your system of organizing your life. Maybe I should develop that taste. All the re-learning and revamping just seems like such an interruption. I would rather be creating something than re-learning my creative tools.

Hmmm. Maybe it’s the perfectionists who will drown in this ocean.
Posted 4/24/2007 8:01 AM by jonathan_camenisch

I have thought about this some more, and I have to post an amendment to my own comment. I’m realizing that I like this ocean of information too. I like it because we actually have tools to manage it well.

An example is my wife’s business website (rebeccassilverrose.com). We created that site last summer. It’s nothing big, not in the top 100 or 100,000 sites on the web. We’ve made hardly an effort to market the site, beyond designing it carefully and listing her business on Superpages and Google maps.

What’s amazing in this day and age is that people actually find the site! I mean people that are looking for a florist in Oklahoma City find it and get in touch with her through it.

In other words, we added our little drop to that sea of information, and some of those who have a valid interest actually find it! In 15-years-ago terms, that’s incredible.

So I like it. The efficiencies are astounding. I’m just overwhelmed by it all sometimes. I think that to keep our humanity and our sanity, we need to step away from it all sometimes, slow down, and drink in more of less, instead of so little of so much.
Posted 4/27/2007 12:23 PM by jonathan_camenisch

Come again?

Filed under Xanga on Friday, April 20th, 2007 @ 12:27pm by Christen

Currently Listening to The Joshua Tree by U2

I found this fun piece on a web site for people to rant against what they hate. This guy claims to live in the “bible belt” (which he properly uses as a derogatory term, as it was coined to be) and was ranting about what he hates about it. Mostly he was annoyed at the restrictions on when and where they can buy alcohol, but he had a fun story about the people that he runs into, or that run into him rather:

one evening a few months ago I realized I needed some milk for my cereal, so I put on some shorts and a tshirt and went to the grocery store. the tshirt happened to have a caffeine molecule on it, and the shorts, as shorts tend to do, left my calves uncovered, which displayed my two tattoos. milk in hand, I was waiting in the checkout line, minding my own business, when a pentecostal lady in line behind me (easily identifiable: they don’t cut their hair, don’t style it, don’t wear make-up (or earrings even I think?), and can’t wear pants, so they’re always wearing ankle-length denim skirts. [something about ‘not dressing as a man’]) taps me on the shoulder and says, “satan has a place ready for you.” … I’m sorry, what was that? “mutilating your body like that is a sin against god, as is the drugs you obviously take. you’re going to go to hell.”

Wow, just where do they find these people?

If you are a Christian, just remember that:
A. This may just be the stereotype you are working under.
B. If you even come close to coming across like this, you are way off base.

Posted 4/20/2007 12:27 PM


Wow. Um, yeah.
Posted 4/21/2007 3:05 PM by Godseeker23

That’s one reason I shy away from witnessing to people.
Posted 4/21/2007 3:07 PM by Godseeker23
This reminds me of a story my friend Josh told me. He was working on a video project out at Disney MGM. It was a celebrity impersonator contest. Josh was standing at a door directing the traffic of female Elvises and George Bushes. One particular woman stood out. She was a Marilyn Monroe impersonator – in her sixties or seventies, I believe. According to Josh she was intentionally nasty. He had no idea how to respond when she started commenting on his tattoos. Reminding him that his body was a temple – and maybe something about the law forbidding marks on the body. Anyway. Josh really had no idea how to respond. The bitter irony of being verbally assaulted for your lack of morality – by Maryline Monroe – is just enough to make your head spin.
Posted 4/24/2007 9:53 PM by novisigothsorkangaroos

I am a skilled metal worker . . .

Filed under Xanga on Friday, April 20th, 2007 @ 9:04am by Christen

I was very gratified to receive this email recently:
Subject: From: Mrs.Carolyn Trowells….
From: ariolak001@hawaii.rr.com
Date: Tue, April 17, 2007 5:25 pm
To: undisclosed-recipients:;

I am Mrs. Carolyn Trowells a british citizen living in Ishikawa Japan.
I lost my family (Husband and Kid) in the quake disaster that happened
in Ishikawa Japan.
My late husband before his demise,deposited the sum of £7.5 Million
Pounds (Seven Million Five Hundred Thousand Pounds) with a Finance &
Trust Company in Europe. I just received a message from the company
stating that I am the sole beneficiary to this deposited funds.And
that, the funds are in a dormat status and needs to be
active/operational so as to enable them release and transfer this
funds to me as soon as possible.
I am presently in a hospital in Ishikawa Japan receiving medical
treatment. Due to my deteriorating state of health, I am not sure I
will be able to survive because I feel so much pain in my upper chest

I am contacting you to help me carry out my last wishes.I have so much
faith in you and for this reason,I am entrusting this huge
responsibility on you.

1. I want you to claim on my behalf, the deposited funds.
2. I want you to build an orphanage home in your country with part of
the funds.
3. I want you to fund churches,mosques,less priviledges and the needy
most especially orphanage homes and widows.

Finally,you are to document all expenses incured during the
transaction.And you are to reimburse yourself as soon as the funds is
transfered to you.I took this decision because it is blessed to give
than to receive. I don’t want a situation where this money will be
used to carry out nefarious activities.I urge you to get back to me on
this and also hoping to hear that you are willing and ready to help me.


Mrs. Xiang Li (Bed assistant).
Mrs.Carolyn Trowells

N.B:Please pardon me, I got your contact email address from a google
search for reputable individuals.

I am a reputable individual!

Posted 4/20/2007 9:04 AM


Yes, Google would certainly know if anybody does. I’m glad you’re getting some recognition!
Posted 4/21/2007 2:04 PM by jonathan_camenisch

Now that you have the text on your xanga – google will be able to tag you even more effectively! Yay!
Posted 4/24/2007 9:54 PM by novisigothsorkangaroos

Partially Confused

Filed under Xanga on Wednesday, April 18th, 2007 @ 3:14pm by Christen

The supreme court finally upheld the ban on “partial birth abortion” or rather, as it is correctly known: intact dilation and extraction.

Sounds like a huge win, right?

Maybe, or is it really just more right wing spin stupidity?

Here is my understanding: This does NOT stop abortions at any point. What it does is simply legislate a procedure. Instead of intact dilation and extraction, where they kill the little guy and pull him out whole, they must use “dilation and evacuation” where they kill him, then chop him up into little pieces first and then pull him out.

So, who wins? Nobody.

Maybe I am completely misunderstanding this, but it seems like they are just banning a specific procedure because it sounds bad, and thus requiring the use of another procedure that doesn’t have an inflammatory name (not a real name, but one put on it by protesters) like “partial birth” with no net reduction in abortions.

Actually, to add to the bazaar nature of this, I don’t think the law even mentions the procedure, but rather uses the words “partial birth” which is, well, not a medical term. So it seems up to a judge, somewhere, some day (soon I am sure) to set up case law to decide what “partial birth” means.

The use of spin terms, instead of medical terms in this law makes this whole thing that much more suspicious. It sounds like they just want to be able to put “passed the partial birth abortion ban” on their resume, even though the bill ranges from meaningless to dangerous.

Here is an article that goes into some of it, although it leaves a lot of questions unanswered and seems to start out with a bias in favor of abortion, although, again, it is hard to tell if they are in favor of abortion, or just against silly legislation:

I am interested in other views or corrections, but please, include citations. We can “talk” about it all day long, but this isn’t an opinion, there are facts there somewhere, if we can just unearth them from beneath all of the spin.

P.S. You may NOT cite anything from anyone associatd with Pat Robertson, or his ministries. I am afraid he lacks credibility.
Posted 4/18/2007 3:14 PM


Interesting… didn’t think about it in those terms… To reply to your statement on my page, what about this: “Without repentance there can be no forgiveness…” Repentance requires an understanding of sin, and forgiveness is requisite to salvation (since we must be perfect… grace through faith). If there is no forgiveness, there is no salvation, and without repentance there cannot be forgiveness, and so it leads us inexorably to the final conclusion that without the understanding of sin there cannot be repentance, hence no forgiveness, hence no salvific state… Jesus told a parable about two men who were both forgiven their debts: One only owed $20 or so, while the other owed hundreds of thousands. Who would LOVE the one who forgave them more? The answer: the one who knew that he had the massive debt. The love comes from the understanding that they were forgiven of massive sin… It does not usually, unfortunately, come of its own accord, leading to repentance. Even so, the concept of sin is still understood by the feldgling believer. Two more cents in your direction. 🙂 L8ers.
Posted 4/19/2007 5:53 PM by NathanKing

Ok, I read the NPR article, and from what I can tell a small battle has been won- however small. It does not stop abortions but it limits the inhumaniy in the abortion. Here’s what the article said:

[the bill] prohibits doctors from knowingly performing a “partial-birth abortion,” a procedure it defines as one in which the person performing the abortion “deliberately and intentionally vaginally delivers a living fetus until, in the case of a head-first presentation, the entire fetal head is outside the body of the mother, or, in the case of breech presentation, any part of the fetal trunk past the navel is outside the body of the mother.”

In other words they can NOT deliver the baby, alive, then kill it by puncturing it’s head (D&X). This is terrible and I am glad they aren’t allowed to do it any more.

So I’m guessing that this new laws implication is that the child must be killed while it is still inside the woumb (correct me if I’m wrong). The fact that this is legal at all is horrific, and I’m sure they could do just as much harm to a child in the woumb as they do out of it, but in some sense, I still feel like the law has limited the amount of brutality allowed. Also, because of the risk of lacerating the cervix there is a chance that some women would not have abortions after 20 weeks of pregnancy. Even if this only saves a few, it’s something.

I think the bigest sign that this law does have some positive influence is the fact that pro-abortion lobiests are upset about it. As the article says:

“Abortion-rights backers say the ban is a first step toward trying to outlaw all abortions. Even some supporters of the ban say that if it is upheld, they could then move on to try to outlaw the far more common D&E procedure, whose description is nearly as unpleasant as that of the D&X.”

This is exactly what we want. Let’s pray that by God’s mercy, it will be the case.”

“Moreover, I saw under the sun that in the place of justice, even there was wickedness, and in the place of righteousness, even there was wickedness.” (Ecclesiastes 3:16) But I still believe that we should rejoice in any small steps that Justice can take in a world ever more given to sin.

“I said in my heart, God will judge the righteous and the wicked, for there is a time for every matter and for every work.” (Ecclesiastes 3:17)
Posted 4/24/2007 1:20 PM by Tegwenava

Warning: Nerd Humor!

Filed under Xanga on Tuesday, April 10th, 2007 @ 12:59pm by Christen

Gotta love Google!

(Be sure to click on the big “Getting Started with Google TiSP” button to read about how it works!)


Posted 4/10/2007 12:59 PM


Posted 4/11/2007 6:18 AM by jonathan_camenisch

Google is great… Esther believed it when I sent her information about Gmail Paper (http://mail.google.com/mail/help/paper/index.html). 🙂
Posted 4/11/2007 11:41 AM by midwifebethany

That’s funny.
Posted 4/11/2007 1:59 PM by Godseeker23

Personal Safety Part Duh

Filed under Xanga on Saturday, April 7th, 2007 @ 2:45pm by Christen

Thanks to Bethany for pointing out that CNN took down the article. Who knows how they decide what to leave for generations to come, and what to pull.

I found a similar article, so here goes again . . .

Just how far does the government need to go to protect our safety?


Now the real question I have, is are there any blinking lights on any of those asteroids?

Posted 4/7/2007 2:45 PM

1 Comment:

Wouldn’t an asteroid help a lot with the future over-population crisis?

Of course, I guess the same could be said of AIDS, bird flu, and world war III.

How can we even converse about such things without some kind of shared moral framework? I mean, do we really have any reason to be that the survival of our species matters at all? Or why should we care about our children and their children? Isn’t that mixing religion with government?

But I digress from your topic to one that’s been bugging me…
Posted 4/7/2007 4:13 PM by jonathan_camenisch

Monologue Preaching

Filed under Xanga on Friday, April 6th, 2007 @ 5:18pm by Christen

I was discussing with a friend recently how I really have to admit that I hate sermons. My friend seemed to feel they were probably biblical, although, to be fair, we did not discuss it much. Anyway, my wife did some quick research on the subject. I think that the facts she dug up generally show that the modern form of monologue preaching is not supported by the Bible or history. I was going to try to write up a convincing article myself, based on these facts, but since I get paid to administer Unix servers and not to write, I’ll just dump the facts onto this Unix server that Xanga runs for us and let you decide for yourself to agree with me. 😉

So, in brief:

Deffinition of the word “sermon:”
The word “sermon” comes from a Middle English word which was derived from an
Old French term, which in turn came from the Latin word sermō;
(“discourse”). (Actually, it meant “conversation”, and early sermons were
delivered in the form of question and answer, only later did it come to mean
a monologue)

From Wikipedia ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sermon ):
The sermon takes center stage in Protestantism:
“Later the Reformation led to Protestant sermons, many of which defended the
schism with the Roman Catholic Church and explained beliefs about scripture,
theology and devotion. Since the distinctive doctrines of Protestantism held
that salvation was by faith alone, and convincing people to believe the
Gospel and place trust in God for their salvation through Jesus Christ was
the decisive step in salvation, in Protestantism the sermon and hymn came to
replace the Eucharist as the central act of Christian worship. To rouse
deeper faith in the churchgoers, rather than have them partake in a ritual,
was the goal of Protestant worship conditioned by these beliefs.”

Greek deffinition:
Gk 1256 (what Paul was doing while Eutychus fell asleep [quite literally])
1) to think different things with one’s self, mingle thought with thought
a) to ponder, revolve in mind
2) to converse, discourse with one, argue, discuss

From http://www.anabaptistnetwork.com/node/321
“Early Anabaptist congregations were distinguished from their Catholic or
Reformed contemporaries by the much greater freedom their members had to
participate actively in a learning community. There were monologue sermons,
but often a number of people made contributions. Questions were invited and
discussion took place. Gradually, as the tradition developed, a reversion to
the dominance of monologue preaching can be observed, but echoes of a more
communal approach remain, together with a conviction that God speaks through
many people, sharing their gifts and perspectives in a multi-voiced

From http://www.anabaptistnetwork.com/book/export/html/306
“Although the Anabaptists did not abandon sermons, they were wary of
monologues and critical of the lack of participation in the Catholic and
Protestant churches around them. They were outspoken about this issue and
argued from Scripture that something was wrong. An early Anabaptist tract
quoted Paul in I Corinthians 14 urging that all should contribute when the
church met together and complained: ‘When some one comes to church and hears
only one person speaking, and all the listeners are silent…who can or will
regard or confess the same to be a spiritual congregation?’ The reformers
had proclaimed the priesthood of all believers but the Anabaptists, their
contemporaries, were not impressed with what they found in the reformers’
churches. The monopoly of the Catholic priest seemed to have been replaced
by the monopoly of the reformed preacher. Experts were still disempowering
the congregation and hindering it from becoming mature.
Many Anabaptist congregations consciously moved away from the monologue
tradition towards a more interactive style with multiple participation and

Other articles on the subject:

An emergent view:

Good article from an ex-Anglican:

Notes for The Problem with Preaching(with Biblical footnotes):

Personal Safety

Filed under Xanga on Friday, April 6th, 2007 @ 5:17pm by Christen

Just how far does the government need to go to protect our safety?


Now the real question I have, is are there any blinking lights on any of those asteroids?

Posted 4/6/2007 5:17 PM

1 Comment:

Too bad CNN deleted the article…
Posted 4/7/2007 11:28 AM by midwifebethany

Puttying the “Fun” back in Fundy!

Filed under Xanga on Thursday, March 29th, 2007 @ 2:36pm by Christen

Here are a couple of articles to help you be a good fundamentalist.


If you ever spent any time listening to a man by the name of Bill Gothard, this next article might not even seem funny, but rather, just normal. I’ve heard all of these methods of proving a point “biblically” used by Bill before. This guy even brings the CDC into it!


All that comes to mind is “Your logic is dizzying.” Someone should have tried that line at IBLP headquarters sometime.

Posted 3/29/2007 2:33 PM


Wow. That second article is some complete and bitter satire. But you are so right – every one of those methods is used – frequently – all over the place…
Posted 3/29/2007 3:51 PM by novisigothsorkangaroos

Wow, how do you find this stuff?

I’m thinking that little symbol with the phone and the Bible looks familiar. It really resembles something used by…oh, who was it. I’ll have to do some research.
Posted 3/30/2007 6:48 AM by jonathan_camenisch

Yea, I mean, I don’t know about you guys, but I’ve been tempted toward idolotry of my cat numerous times! This guy needs to write about what the Bible says about dogs. According to Duet. 23:18 ‘dog’ is the Biblical word for male prostitue. The book also states that unclean meat should be thrown to the dogs. Would a true follower of Jahova allow such a creature in his house hold? I think not!


That first guy though, is seriously spastic. I can feel him yelling at me through the screne. I mean, he’s mad that the translators used the original greek words for hell instead of an english one- that really makes sense. I refuse to be stressed out by this. 🙂

Posted 3/30/2007 4:05 PM by Tegwenava

that is some heavy stuff about the nkjv! guess i will have to get up and leave if they ever decide to read from it in church. :-p

i wish i had God’s email address, so I could send Him the one about cats… I mean, do you think He knew this when He created them? :-/ I like Tegwin’s point about dogs…

I found a pretty good book recently, A Matter of Basic Principles. First time I’d tried to think seriously about iblp in a long time.
Posted 3/31/2007 4:51 PM by miracles_start_now

You’re right. I’m not saying everyone lies on Xanga. They just don’t say everything. Not that they’re supposed to. But what’s anything without context? Guess that’s where knowing the person who wrote it comes in. Sort of like with the Bible.
Posted 4/6/2007 1:53 PM by Godseeker23

Life, looked at objectively

Filed under Xanga on Friday, March 23rd, 2007 @ 3:43pm by Christen

From The Writer’s Almanac:

“It’s the birthday of one of the great American journalists of the 20th
century, A.J. (Abbott Joseph) Liebling, born in New York (1904). He got
his first real writing job working at the New York World, and began
writing about New York City saloons and nightclubs, racetracks and corner
stores, gourmet restaurants and boxing rings. His favorite subjects were
food, journalism, and boxing.

“In 1939, he began to cover the war in Europe for The New Yorker. Unlike
other war correspondents, Liebling didn’t write about politics or combat
strategy. He wrote about day-to-day life among the soldiers and the
civilians. He later said that he missed the war years. He wrote, ‘The
times were full of certainties: We could be certain we were right—and we
were—and that certainty made us certain that anything we did was right,
too. I have seldom been sure I was right since. … I know that it is
socially acceptable to write about war as an unmitigated horror, but
subjectively at least, it was not true, and you can feel its pull on men’s
memories at the maudlin reunions of war divisions. They mourn for their
dead, but also for war.'”

A. J. Liebling also said, “Cynicism is often the shamefaced product of

Like life at a training center, full of certainty and purpose.

Life, looked at objectively, often does not give the full picture.

Posted 3/23/2007 3:43 PM


Wow, he seems like an extremely interesting writer, one that will make an excellent source in centurys to come of WW2 life. I love these sort of studies.

The last quote you have there is very good and very true.
Posted 3/25/2007 6:23 PM by Tegwenava

He was right, and that was a good point about knowing so certainly that you’re right.

Are you a cynic?
Posted 3/29/2007 11:28 AM by Godseeker23

Life, looked at objectively

Filed under Quotes on Friday, March 23rd, 2007 @ 2:43pm by Christen

From The Writer’s Almanac:

“It’s the birthday of one of the great American journalists of the 20th
century, A.J. (Abbott Joseph) Liebling, born in New York (1904). He got
his first real writing job working at the New York World, and began
writing about New York City saloons and nightclubs, racetracks and corner
stores, gourmet restaurants and boxing rings. His favorite subjects were
food, journalism, and boxing.

“In 1939, he began to cover the war in Europe for The New Yorker. Unlike
other war correspondents, Liebling didn’t write about politics or combat
strategy. He wrote about day-to-day life among the soldiers and the
civilians. He later said that he missed the war years. He wrote, ‘The
times were full of certainties: We could be certain we were right—and we
were—and that certainty made us certain that anything we did was right,
too. I have seldom been sure I was right since. … I know that it is
socially acceptable to write about war as an unmitigated horror, but
subjectively at least, it was not true, and you can feel its pull on men’s
memories at the maudlin reunions of war divisions. They mourn for their
dead, but also for war.'”

A. J. Liebling also said, “Cynicism is often the shamefaced product of

Like life at a training center, full of certainty and purpose.

Life, looked at objectively, often does not give the full picture.

Solaris will not boot due to disk errors

Filed under Unix Notes on Wednesday, March 21st, 2007 @ 8:25am by Christen

when Solaris goes into singel user mode due to disk problems, just type:

fsck -y

do that over and over until it is happy, then exit

if it is still not happy, it will dump you to single again, so fsck -y again

eventually it will be happy and finish booting.

Now if it boots ok, another reboot is probably in order, for a test.

Use awk to combine lines

Filed under Unix Notes on Tuesday, March 20th, 2007 @ 2:34pm by Christen

I used this script to find to find out what version of Sendmail was on each server by package:

for i in $(cat SystemList);do ssh $i ‘hostname;pkginfo -l Sendmail | grep VERSION:;pkginfo -l OtherSendmail | grep VERSION:’ >> output;done;cat output

What ouput looks like is this:

VERSION: 8.12.10
VERSION: 8.13.7
VERSION: 8.13.8
VERSION: 8.13.8
VERSION: 8.13.8

This is hard to parse, I wanted it on one line.

Per this web page: http://unix-simple.blogspot.com/2006/12/awk-script-to-combine-lines-in-file.html

I modified the code slightly and ran this:

cat output | awk ‘{d=d””$o}
print d

and got this:

hostname1 VERSION: 8.12.10
hostname2 VERSION: 8.13.7
hostname3 VERSION: 8.13.8
hostname4 VERSION: 8.13.8
hostname5 VERSION: 8.13.8

VERY cool, and easy to parse, and even to stick into Excel. 🙂

Make it comma delimited:
for i in $(cat SystemList);do ssh $i ‘uname -n;echo ,;crontab -l|grep -i SEARCHTEXT1;echo ,;crontab -l|grep -i SEARCHTEXT2;echo done’>>output;done;less output

cat output | awk ‘{d=d””$o}
/done/ {
print d

Move root’s home dir from / to /root

Filed under Unix Notes on Tuesday, March 20th, 2007 @ 2:33pm by Christen

Here are the step by step (maybe to script soon):
Open a console connection to the box and log into it. Just leave it there for emergency.
from SSH login
mkdir /root
ls -la
rm .profile.orig
mv .forward .profile .rhosts .sh_history .ssh .Xauthority /root/
mail -f mbox
mail -f mbox
rm mbox
ls -la
vi /etc/passwd
SSH in again and see if it works.
Log off and back on at console to make sure it works.


Filed under Unix Notes on Tuesday, March 20th, 2007 @ 9:56am by Christen

Expect is really cool, and you can use autoexpect to MAKE an expect script from a session, like a macro recorder!
Here is my script to just telnet to port 25 to see the Sendmail version:

set timeout 10
spawn telnet $argv 25
match_max 100000
expect -exact “sendmail”
send — “quit\r”
expect eof

It was made with autoexpect and then edited, there is some more stuff in the file autoexpect spit out.
Here is how I loop it:
for i in $(cat MissingList);do echo $i >> output;test2.exp $i | grep -i sendmail >> output;done;cat output

Fun Quotes

Filed under Xanga on Friday, March 16th, 2007 @ 12:51pm by Christen

I just love this quote, I laugh out loud sometimes when it comes to mind. I think it may be from the movie “We’re No Angles,” but I’m not certain.

Anyway, here it is:

“You’ve gotta admire him, even if you don’t.”

Can you think of anyone you would say this about?

Posted 3/16/2007 12:15 PM


I tried but I can’t. I think I know what you mean, though. Can you?
Posted 3/16/2007 4:34 PM by Godseeker23

You’d have to meet them. The list starts with funny (as in “makes you laugh”) but I don’t know the rest of it offhand.
Posted 3/16/2007 4:35 PM by Godseeker23

Posted 3/17/2007 8:24 AM by jonathan_camenisch

I think you meant “Angels”. They were closer to angles than angels.
Posted 3/19/2007 9:25 AM by ThoughtForFood

I think you meant “Angels”. Those guys were closer to angles, I suppose…
Posted 3/19/2007 9:27 AM by ThoughtForFood

Although the Angles were real people. The Angles were a group of Germanic people who invaded Great Britain way back in the day. In fact, there name has been used as a pun with Angels for a long time. Supposedly Pope Gregory I saw a group of young Angle children for sale at a Roman slave market and was shocked by their beauty. He inquired about their origin and when he was told he responded “Not Angles, but Angels”. He therefore resolved to convert their homeland. Somehow it seems that buying their freedom might have been more helpful…
Posted 3/19/2007 6:56 PM by novisigothsorkangaroos

Yes, Jared. They invented fishing, right?
Posted 3/19/2007 7:54 PM by ThoughtForFood

Alright Christen, I’ll be more precise then. In Latin supposedly he actually said:
“Non Angli, sed angeli”

Wouldn’t it be fun to be able to go around making Latin puns?

And yes Jerusha, I like the way you think. They may well have been some of the first anglers… 😉
Posted 3/20/2007 11:16 AM by novisigothsorkangaroos

Note to Self . . . no Muzak

Filed under Xanga on Thursday, March 1st, 2007 @ 1:33pm by Christen

Currently Listening to Awake by Josh Groban

When I become a world famous singer/song writer/musician I need to put strict usage rights on my work.

Josh Groban has gotten really popular with his latest CD. Several of the songs are on the easy listening stations that people at work listen to, and are even being pumped out into retail stores . . .

Now his latest music can be heard in the same venue in which we were putting up with the typical pop trash from girls who shave their heads and no name artists re-singing old songs from venerable institutions of the past like Culture Club . . .

I am sure this is great for Josh’s royalty earnings, but somehow it seems to erode some of the work, just the slightest bit maybe . . .

to wit:

Somehow, standing in a large warehouse style home improvement store in the customer service lane to return some building supplies does not feel like quite the right environment to appreciate Josh Groban’s “February Song.” 🙂

Then again, maybe it should. Maybe all of that trash music I’ve learned to put up with in such places has lowered my standards. If I could expect such quality music in retail establishments, I might drop my URGE subscription in favor of a SAM’s Club membership.

As it is, I dislike going to the grocery store almost as much as I dislike listening to Boy George.

Does Dillons really want to hurt me?

Posted 3/1/2007 1:33 PM


About Dillons–you are missing the point. It’s not that they WANT to hurt you, or that they want NOT to hurt you. Whichever helps their bottom line, they would prefer. Do you, or does Jerusha, spend more money on groceries when you do the shopping? Then that is the person with the musical preference to which they would prefer to acquiesce.

And no, I’m not (quite) a cynic. There is, like, 1/2 mm on the scale between the actual cynic and me.
Posted 3/3/2007 4:45 PM by miracles_start_now

I agree about the grocery store. Why does food shopping have to be such a terrible experience? I like it fine when I do it with Jerusha and just have to talk with Melissa and push her in the cart, but it’s a different story when I have to do it for myself. After spending your whole life learning to invest in permanent rather than temporary things, you find yourself compelled to pour money into things which you know will have either been consumed or spoiled withing a week. And all in an atmosphere reminiscent of Home Depot. Can’t you at least make me feel good about loosing my money? Recently I did have one contrary experience. I stopped by a high-end import and natural food grocery store. All the fruit look great. They had a whole section devoted to chocolate. A large one devoted to import cheeses. The store smells nice. The food all looks beautiful and fun to eat. Shopping was so much fun. But alas, the financial damages are even more severe. So I continue to shop at the 24hr Wal-Mart Community store…
Posted 3/5/2007 8:32 AM by novisigothsorkangaroos

I missed something. If the word of God is like the spoon, where does “there is no spoon” come in? (I thought the spoon=reality. There is no reality; it is your mind that you bend. Postmodern worldview.) Can you explain again?
Posted 3/7/2007 1:02 PM by Godseeker23

Okay, I’m curious: how do you decide whether or not to give eprops? I can’t draw a line between when you do and when you don’t give them. Explain?
Posted 3/7/2007 1:38 PM by Godseeker23

Not real to us, but I think you were on to something when you talked about God being outside of time as we know it. (Like the Dilbert cartoon: “To you, is time a linear stream of events or a trail of endless possibilities?” “To me Time is a magazine. Now ask me about ‘Life.'”) Like Shakespeare wasn’t limited to Romeo and Juliet’s timeline; he lived outside it. And the analogy does break down: Unlike us, Romeo and Juliet didn’t have any choice on what they did, so there was no room for chance. (Which makes God that much better because he works it out for good to people who love him in spite of what sinful people choose.) Are we arguing or agreeing?
Posted 3/10/2007 4:10 PM by Godseeker23

“Are we arguing or agreeing?”

Yes. 🙂
Posted 3/12/2007 8:31 AM by ThinkingOnTheEdge

Yeah, I think it just went from one side of my hand to the other, and maybe just a little through my forearm. I’m pretty sure I wasn’t grounded anywhere else, as I was sitting on carpet. Definitely dangerous enough to prevent me from repeating it though.
Posted 3/13/2007 2:50 PM by madhatterb78

Oh and a typo. I was adjusting a belt, not a bolt
Posted 3/13/2007 2:53 PM by madhatterb78

Scarry Thoughts

Filed under Xanga on Thursday, February 15th, 2007 @ 12:28pm by Christen

We all know about Fred Phelps. I think if I were to label anyone anti-Christ (Martin Luther got to do it, why can’t I?) it would be him.

I do like to keep track of the nuts though. There is a new one I had not heard of before, his name is Darwin Fish. I’d never even heard of him before, but that really is his name (and it has nothing to do with fish with legs on them, just an apparent joke of fate on him). He is really quite a guy. You can read about him (from an opposing side) here. He is against everyone, and really doesn’t leave a side to stand on. It is fun to read really.

Anyway, one reason I like to watch these people is because sometimes when I find myself out on the edge of the mainstream, or the tried and true, I know that I haunt the same dark passages that these guys live in. I very much do not want to “go there” if you know what I mean.

However, the instant I pulled up his site, it was so obvious. Fear and hate. It just drips from the site.

Sorry guys, “fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate is the path to the dark side” And, so, yet another “want to be taken seriously” movement struck down at the first checkpoint.

Never do anything motivated by or that motivates fear and hate.

Now, lest you think I’ve just pinned myself up as impenetrable, I know I am not. Even ask I get irked at the likes of Fred Phelps and Pat Robertson, I know that I can easily fall into the same trap of hate and anger.

Ah well, what can we do? It was God’s decision to submit Himself to the humiliation of having His name carried exclusively by we fallible humans. If it makes us sad to see what people do with His name, how do you think it makes God feel?

I also like to read these people, because the error is so blatant, that sometimes I can find the end results of some of my own lines of thinking before I get there. Kind of a shortcut to learning if an idea is going to turn out to lead to a dead end. For instance, I don wonder sometimes if you can still go to heaven, even if your theology is flawed, and if so, how flawed can it be? David Fish makes it clear that you cannot go to heaven if your theology is flawed, and his Biblical defense of his position clearly proves that he is wrong. 🙂

I also enjoy reading the blatant misuse of scripture by crazy people. Why? Because I was subjected to it for several years myself. It just underlines for me the fact that, yes, just because the Bible “says it” does not make it true. You probably cannot understand how much I still battle with ideas in my head that, because of some obscure scripture or example in the Bible, I am condemning myself and my family to hell, or at least hell on earth, by my current actions (like listening to Lawrence Welk music).

Smooth Operator

Filed under Xanga on Thursday, February 15th, 2007 @ 11:58am by Christen

Currently Listening to New Magnetic Wonder by Apples in Stereo

I was commenting on Godseeker23’s Xanga, and suddenly it hit me. I am really annoyed that God is not obvious. I mean, it is totally frustrating to me that if He is so big and so amazing and so powerful, how come we can’t see Him?

Then it it me. Wow, duh!

The amazing thing is that we cannot see Him. Imagine, an all powerful, trans-dimensional being that extends across all of the time and space of our universe, and yet, somehow, He keeps a low profile.

Think about it. When is the last time that God accidentally tripped over the cord and pulled the plug on something important like gravity or electrostatic attraction? Not in my memory. Now, of course, maybe he just goes back in time an wipes up His messes, but, well, I kind of doubt it.

What I mean is this. I DO believe that God is involved in our lives. He intervenes in human affairs, and yet. And yet, He never really shows up. I don’t mean things like hidden angle’s having their bodies crushed between cars to soften the impact. I mean things like praying for hope, or for changed lives and hearts and then how it happens. Not like some love potion from Shrek (“Now we’re SEXY!”) but slowly, steadily and hidden from view, so that years later you look back on the time and it seems distant and strange. Did time heal the wound, the hurt and the pain? No, time doesn’t do that, only God does. Like a road doesn’t take us to a destination, a car does, so time doesn’t heal, God does, but we travel over time in the process.

You look out your window and you don’t see God, but imagine this huge all-powerful trans-dimensional being that extends across (and beyond) all of the time and space of our universe secretly moving through every atom of the world you live in.

It is, quite frankly, amazing that he is so smooth that He never shows up, either physically though some odd anomalies in space/time that weird us out or meta-physically through people suddenly making drastic unexplainable changes in their outlook and behavior. I know the second does happen, sometimes, but not as often as we would like. Maybe that is the point, God doesn’t work that way. He stays hidden. After all, God told Moses he would die if he looked at Him. Maybe God is really saving our lives by staying hidden. Hidden both physically and meta-physically.

Maybe that is what all that empty space inside of all of the atoms is for. Even a smooth operator like God needs a little room to operate. 😉

Posted 2/15/2007 11:58 AM


Well said.

Although, what if God actually is obvious? What if all the things we call “natural” are really miraculous, and we just don’t see them that way because we’re so accustomed to them?
Posted 2/16/2007 7:16 AM by jonathan_camenisch

I agree about the space inside the atoms that is never actually traveled through by the molecules. Good thought.

Since I’m a different kind of learner than perhaps you are, I do find God to rather visible and obvious. I tend to be very auditory, and so being in constant conversation with him tends to make me aware of his presence- which often then manifests itself visually. Like sometimes he points funny or beautful things out to me in my surroundings, and so I see him there. Sometimes I see him playing with animals or children, or helping mothers, or working with men. I think the place I have seen him the most however, is in the clouds-the giant cumlionimbus of the oustreatched Florida sky. His majestic court in all its grandure and size seems to rest rather compfortably in the colorful and colosal sky. But an imagination can do that better than the senses can- so my observation is probably not fair.

Another way I’ve seen Him a lot lately (and this is more solid) is in studying physical geography. Even though we understand most of the forces and laws that govern the scientific rhelm, there are still things that rely completely on “chance” or the choice of God. For example, we can look at an analysis of the atmosphere, with all of the pressure gradients, cloud systems, teperature movements, convective cells, tides, jets stremes, fronts, etc, each of which operate under predictable laws like coriolis effect, gravity, Latent heat levels etc, and even when all the numbers fit into the equation, we cannot be totally sure which way a storm system will travel. This becomes incredibly amazing when you spend weeks studying the complete depth to which humans understand these concepts- it really seems like we should be able to predict- and yet for completely unexplainable reasons, we can’t. That is the hand of God- and if you look out your window with a birds eye view you will see it.

Also, Jared and I have talked about seeing the hand of God in statistics. For some reason there are a certain amount of car accidents a year- no more and no less, and this number remains almost constant- so WHY?! There is absolutely no reason why- other than because God said so. I mean, man has some control over how many air bags work, or seat belts are worn, or speed is driven, but how many times a year- a month even- do you avoid a totall collision by no more than a hairbredth simply because you looked up in time, or turned the wheel at just the right angle? (if your someone like me this analogy becomes particularly potent :). Now multiply that by all the people driving in the world. So why is it that we look up in time just so many times? There really isn’t an adiquate human explaniation. Any time you are really close to a bad wreck and an awful day this realization comes flooding into you; that moment when the personal brushes against the universal- which is primarily an exponent of “Chance” or the Choice of God. – Now look- you got me totally distracted from my school- good job Kristen! 😉
Posted 2/19/2007 7:09 PM by Tegwenava

ok so, i’m an idiot! I put molecules up there in my first sentence instead of electrons- that’s why I’m a lit major 🙂 Hope you got a good laugh Kristen
Posted 2/19/2007 8:35 PM by Tegwenava

Yeah, isn’t it interesting that he’s invisible?And that you can’t see him unless you *want* to. I guess that’s what pure in heart means.
Posted 2/26/2007 6:38 PM by Godseeker23

What is it?

Filed under Xanga on Tuesday, February 13th, 2007 @ 12:24am by Christen

Currently Reading In Search of Schrodinger’s Cat: Quantum Physics And Reality by John Gribbin

Someone finally asked what the picture is. I’ve wanted to write about it for a while, so here goes.

I am greatly interested in quantum physics. You know, atoms, electrons and protons, black holes, Einstein, the relevance of time, etc.

It goes along with my theme really. Quantum physics is on the absolute edge of our knowledge of what is, well, what “is” is. I mean, it is getting at the real substance of what everything is made of. Breaking it down into tiny parts and finding out that most of the laws that govern what we call “reality” don’t apply in the subatomic world of what we are made of.

I feel that as we learn more and more about the universe, we learn more about God. I think that the things we learn about atomic structure say something about God. For instance, God is into REALLY big spaces that are seemingly empty, and yet teaming with life. The Ocean is our first example. I mean it is so huge and yet mostly void of anything, and yet every square inch is full of “wee beasties” as Anton van Leeuenhoek so aptly put it. Space is the next example. I was recently looking at a picture from Hubble of a part of space that is 13 BILLION light years away! Now, never minding how the light ever got here (that is a LONG TIME), just try to fathom how far away that is! Google quickly tells me that that 13 billion light years = 7.64204976 × 1022 miles (Google is SO cool), but you cannot honestly even think about that number, much less comprehend it.

Let us try though. Our sun is 93 million miles from us. At 186,000 miles per second, it takes light eight minutes to reach us from the sun. So if you drove your car to the sun at 60 miles per hour, it would take you 177 years to get there! (Best go with a solar powered car. Oh, and bring a friend, because you’ll have to have a child and maybe grandchildren to actually have someone ALIVE when the car gets there!)

(This article may never get finished, I keep looking up facts to check them and finding and learning new stuff and just end up reading about quantum physics instead of writing this article. The stuff is just so fascinating, I can’t get near it without being completely absorbed. I wonder if I emit a neutrino when I am absorbed by a web site?)

So anyway you can see that space is REALLY BIG. What about us? We are not really full of empty space are we? No? How about lead, it is really dense, right?

Here is how dense lead is, quote:

“Let’s take your typical lead atom for instance. A natural lead atom has 82 protons and somewhere around 126 neutrons held together in its nucleus (center of the atom). Whizzing around the nucleus are 82 electrons in several different energy orbits. To give you an idea of the relative size, let’s assume that nucleus with a total of 208 protons and neutrons is the size of a two-inch-wide ball. The first set of two orbiting electrons (in our expanded world their size would be 1/50 of an inch wide) would be 19 feet away from the ball, the next set of eight electrons would be at a distance of 76 feet and the farthest orbiting electrons would be one mile away. If we had two balls close together—bonded as found in lead metal—the distance between them would be over two miles apart in our relative world defined above. The main reason I want to throw these numbers out is that I want to make a point that most of an atom and most of a piece of lead is space!”

Got that? If the nucleus of a lead atom was two inches across, the farthest electrons in the atom would be a mile away from it! That is a LOT of empty space (relatively speaking)!

Now, there are all sorts of wild things going on in that empty space. Virtual particles are constantly showing up and disappearing in anything we consider “empty space.” Even the particles themselves are not fixed in any place. The presence or absence of an electron at any point cannot be “determined,” but rather we can simply calculate the probability of its existence in a given spot. If we actually conduct an experiment to “prove” the existence of the electron, we end up simply causing a certain outcome, but we know from math and experiments, that we really cannot ever know where it is. Schrodinger’s poor cat knows all too well about this problem. He is still waiting, to this day, to know if he is dead or not, and what is really wacky, is read about Schordinger’s cat, but put yourself in there. Where is your spirit while you wait to be dead or undead? Purgatory suddenly sounds like a very logically appealing idea!

Anyway, all very wild stuff, and all true, and all an insight into the mind of God himself! He did make this stuff, and He thought of it.

Originally I wanted an atom for my picture, but I couldn’t find a picture I liked. Of course, no one can see an atom, we only know they exist, first from math, and then from experiments. We have no idea what they really look like. In fact, I’m not sure you can look at them. (See any analogies to God there?) The typical model shows electrons “orbiting” the nucleus, but that is really just a mental picture for us to understand the math. The electrons don’t neatly “orbit around” but they fly all over the place (although they do have specific “areas” they must occupy), and only statistical probability tells us where each atom is most likely to be at any given time.

I started thinking about what is one of the coolest things related to the study of quantum physics, and that is the particle accelerator. These are huge machines that make up mile long circles. In them is equipment used to take these little atoms and get them moving very very fast and run them into each other and then see what happens. It is kind of like if you wanted to see what sort of stuff would come out if you ran two trucks into each other at several thousand miles per hour. You would need a VERY long road to get them going that fast, and using a circle would help. Really it is just NASCAR for geeks (the going fast part, not the running into each other).

However, while my heart skips a beat every time I see a picture of the Fermi National Accelerator Laboratory. I’m not sure it evokes the right feeling and picture for the average reader.

I went looking for pictures of the internals of these accelerators, but, while they evoke deep emotions in me also, most of them just look like a lot of metal and wires, which, while post 911, that does strike terror into the hearts of most people, still didn’t get the point across.

Besides, I wanted something from history too, because while we are making great strides daily in our knowledge of quantum physics, I really think we are at about the equivalent of where we were in about 1905 with quantum physics in our understanding of Christ. So I looked into particle accelerator lore and history, and what did I discover, but that Van de Graff generators were originally used to accelerate particles for experiments. Yeah, you know, those cool steel balls you put your hand on at the science museum and your hair stands up! Apparently those are also really very useful in the study of quantum physics.

Basically A Van de Graaff generator could be integrated with a particle accelerator. The generator produces the high tensions (in the megavolt range) that accelerate the particles. I believe that this was really the purpose for which these nifty items were invented. The hair thing was just a novelty that keeps them around today.

And so I found this image of a 40 foot high Van de Graff generator set up in an aircraft hangar, in 1933 at that most venerable institution, MIT.

So, in short, the picture is part of the history of quantum physics research. (A very cool part I might add.) I hope to be part of the history of a new and deeper understanding of God. What does that mean?

Well, let me leave you with this short explanation of what it means to me. In the early part of the last century, quantum physics was leaping and bounding like crazy. However, it went in spurts. You see, each new “discovery” was often simply the acceptance of some new idea, that was so crazy, no one was willing to even consider it before. The old guys (anyone over 30) were usually so set in their understanding of classical physics, that they were often unwilling to even explore new ideas. So all of the truly great leaps forward came from grad students who had no reputation at stake. They had sharp minds, and were eager, but most of all, this was all new to them, and they were open to new ideas that shattered previous understanding of the universe. Then, though, they would develop reputations of their own, and became slow to propose new and crazy ideas. So it would take another group of young whippersnappers to make the next break through.

Openness to new ideas, and a willingness to stake one’s reputation on a questionable suposition that was very different from the accepted standard were required for making progress in the field of quantum physics.

I believe that time has come for God’s people to do this. To stop their unwillingness to try new ideas, just because it has never been that way before or for the sake of not being made a fool of, and forge ahead with new ideas to solve problems. I am not saying throw away the old. Quantum physics actually works along side classical mechanics, but without quantum physics, classical mechanics could not exist. If we don’t allow ourselves to explore God more deeply though, we are going to find ourselves in big trouble. I am also not saying we just accept any new idea. The way science works is that you take a known incongruity between what you think reality to be, and what you see and come up with ideas of how to bring these together. Then you test these ideas. First you test them on the black board, then in the lab, and finally you watch reality to see if it lines up. Sometimes ideas take years to come to maturity. Sometimes theories go about as considered “truth” for decades, only to be proven bogus by some “whippersnapper,” but that is how the world God made for us works.

I like to think on the edge of our understanding of God, and then try to stretch that boundry, even if it scares people, or makes me sound foolish.

So that is what the picture is, and why I chose it.

Posted 2/13/2007 12:24 AM


Thanks. I like your quote too: “God is really good at keeping a low profile that way.
Posted 2/14/2007 5:43 PM by Godseeker23 – delete – block user

That’s a pretty good explanation. I don’t get the cat thing; guess I’ll have to work on that.

Let’s say the year was 3007. Some young genius decides “I think this quantum mechanics stuff is bogus. We need to think on the edge, push the limit, get out of the box.”

But he has no shred of evidence to show quantum mechanics was bogus. In fact, he doesn’t even understand the claims of quantum mechanics or the math behind it. He just has a 13th-grade “understanding” of it (that is, a non-understanding). So he goes about grappling with problems that were solved a thousand years ago — at least solved more plausibly than anything he will come up with.

This is the average theological discussion in today’s American evangelicalism.
Posted 2/15/2007 9:15 AM by jonathan_camenisch

Do you think the problems in today’s church (of which there is a lot of evidence) would be largely solved by returning to a more strict adherence to the doctrine of the reformation as it was taught 1000+ years ago?

Personally, I don’t, but it is a point I’m willing to consider.

Do you have examples?
Posted 2/15/2007 11:42 AM by ThinkingOnTheEdge

Well, I could try to answer that, but it’s really not the point. “Reformed” didn’t exist 1000 years ago, but a lot of important thought did. People had wrestled with the Bible’s teachings, with who God has revealed Himself to be, etc. Some of them had great minds and very Godly hearts.

They didn’t finish the job, mind you. But if we ignore their efforts altogether, then why should anyone pay attention to us?

I believe the study of Scripture and of God is a body activity. We’re in this together–not only with our contemporaries, but with those who have gone before.
Posted 2/15/2007 6:55 PM by beccachino

Oops. Wrong login. How did th…

Oh well.
Posted 2/16/2007 7:18 AM by jonathan_camenisch

Since you don’t get notified of my comments on my blog, here: http://www.xanga.com/jonathan_camenisch/569064555/item.html
Posted 2/16/2007 7:20 AM by jonathan_camenisch

Okay, I haven’t read thoroughly on Schrodinger’s cat, so maybe this question is premature and stupid, but here goes:

What about God? Since he sees what is happening all the time, doesn’t that mean it’s real right now, even if no one else can see it?
Posted 3/9/2007 12:43 PM by Godseeker23

Well, God could only see the state of the cat in the sense that he can see the future. The state is not yet determined, so it cannot be known. Seeing the future is knowing what will happen. However, if you had a vision of the future, it would be a blur, because the future is constantly changing. Much of it has not even yet been determined.

The question of whether God really sees the future is kind of complex, because, from our standpoint, it has not yet happened.

God may know what will happen, purely out of wisdom or understanding, but to actually be there just does not work for us.

Of course, most believe that God lives outside of our time, and that is not actually a state that we can grasp.

So, in short, no, it does not mean that it is “real right now” in any sense of the word “real” that we as humans can utilize. No more than the return of Christ is “real.” It will happen, and God knows when, but since it has not happened yet, it is not “real.” The point is that the cat’s state isn’t just unknown, it has not yet been determined.
Posted 3/9/2007 2:32 PM by ThinkingOnTheEdge

Run you fools!

Filed under Xanga on Friday, February 2nd, 2007 @ 3:35pm by Christen

Micah, this is really for you. You need to listen to this commentary when it comes on line on NPR (about 7:30 tonight):


I was on the path of working to remove any motivation in my life caused by fear before I met Micah, however, in the years after he was allowed to wear shorts outside of the house (after he was 22 I think) Micah had to make up for lost time. He got into snow cross and motor cross, and, well, his blog has some lovely hospital stories now.

Micah really is not into running form danger, though, because he spent his life being forced to run from anything that might be harmful.

Lately I have found a new form of fear that I have. Intimidation. I am easily intimidated. The funny thing is, that you can both be intimidated and intimidate, often both at once. Sometimes I even try to intimidate in response to being intimidated. Kind of like a scared dog that barks and snarls. Being intimidated, though, is the same as fear.

Anyway, the above commentary on NPR is really good on the topic of not running from danger. I think Micah would approve.

Posted 2/2/2007 3:35 PM


No wonder you hate your job.
Posted 2/7/2007 10:03 AM by Godseeker23

BTW, what’s that picture of?
Posted 2/7/2007 10:06 AM by Godseeker23

Sign of the times.

Filed under Xanga on Thursday, February 1st, 2007 @ 1:28pm by Christen

Ah, what a sad scary world we live in:


Honestly, the whole town gets its knickers in a knot, and the mayor is still going on about how “irresponsible” this was, over a few LED’s and a battery. I always thought of Boston as a rather progressive town too.

Time was when this would have been considered funny, but apparently old Ben Loddin has done his work well. He has turned us into a bunch of paranoid ninnies. Every time someone drops a nine volt battery into a public trash can we have to call out the bomb squad now.

I will admit, it would be nice if the sign wasn’t making an obscene gesture (although I wouldn’t have actually realized that is what it was doing without being told), and it is sad that it was a stunt used to promote what is apparently a rather raunchy show.

The result would have been the same if it was Mickey Mouse though, and it is just sad that we are so paranoid now days. I think that is the real goal of terrorists, and it is working. In olden days, a huge part of an army’s offense was intimidation. Well, I think that offense is working very well on us now.

So the next time you see an LED sign on the side of the road, show Alceida that you are not intimidated, and just give that bundle of scary looking wires the finger!

Posted 2/1/2007 1:28 PM


Interesting times.
Do you have any constructive advice for the Boston authorities?
I guess if it’s such a raunchy show, maybe this was a good stunt to reach their intended audience. I wonder how much it will cost them.
Posted 2/2/2007 7:46 AM by jonathan_camenisch

You bring a level of considered through, intelligence and wisdom to Xanga that is very annoying. 😛
No, no constructive advice.
Yes, the truth is, I think that the show’s audience will grow exponentially due to this. Though I am sure no one really intended this response, and no one will publicly acknowledge any benefit, nor will anyone try it again.
The point is that the terrorists have won. We are paranoid as a society. It isn’t just the Boston authorities, it is the entire society. They were motivated by scared people with cell phones, and are commended by scared people in political office, who were voted in by scared people watching CNN and FOX News.

We honestly can’t be safe from everything anyway. If anyone really wants to wreak havoc, they can do it. They just have to be smart and patient. Fortunately, most smart and patient people are more interested in making their cell phones play MP3’s than in blowing things up.

You know, in Iraq every person and car is a potential threat. I see a few dozen cars outside of my window. Any one of them could be packed full of fertilizer. Should I be scared? Probably.
Posted 2/2/2007 12:25 PM by ThinkingOnTheEdge

Right. I see your point.

I just can’t help but look for some solution. They’ve won a lot, but can we do anything about it? Idunno.
Posted 2/2/2007 1:17 PM by jonathan_camenisch

yah, it would be nice if they did put LED signs by the side of the road… would definitely save some lives. guess we’d better start safety education for terrorists now. If we can educate them in aircraft operation AND air traffic control (which we do) why not safety? Who knows, maybe rational thought would defeat fanatic extremism and they’d change their minds. then again, maybe not…
Posted 2/9/2007 4:22 PM by miracles_start_now

Solaris Patch Return Codes

Filed under Unix Notes on Tuesday, January 30th, 2007 @ 11:58am by Christen

#               0       No error
#               1       Usage error
#               2       Attempt to apply a patch that’s already been applied
#               3       Effective UID is not root
#               4       Attempt to save original files failed
#               5       pkgadd failed
#               6       Patch is obsoleted
#               7       Invalid package directory
#               8       Attempting to patch a package that is not installed
#               9       Cannot access /usr/sbin/pkgadd (client problem)
#               10      Package validation errors
#               11      Error adding patch to root template
#               12      Patch script terminated due to signal
#               13      Symbolic link included in patch
#               14      NOT USED
#               15      The prepatch script had a return code other than 0.
#               16      The postpatch script had a return code other than 0.
#               17      Mismatch of the -d option between a previous patch
#                       install and the current one.
#               18      Not enough space in the file systems that are targets
#                       of the patch.
#               19      $SOFTINFO/INST_RELEASE file not found
#               20      A direct instance patch was required but not found
#               21      The required patches have not been installed on the manager
#               22      A progressive instance patch was required but not found
#               23      A restricted patch is already applied to the package
#               24      An incompatible patch is applied
#               25      A required patch is not applied
#               26      The user specified backout data can’t be found
#               27      The relative directory supplied can’t be found
#               28      A pkginfo file is corrupt or missing
#               29      Bad patch ID format
#               30      Dryrun failure(s)
#               31      Path given for -C option is invalid
#               32      Must be running Solaris 2.6 or greater
#               33      Bad formatted patch file or patch file not found
#               34      The appropriate kernel jumbo patch needs to be installed
#               35      Later revision already installed

When does life begin/end?

Filed under Xanga on Monday, January 29th, 2007 @ 10:58pm by Christen

The question of when does life begin and end is very important for both the abortion debate, and the end of life issues brought up with people for whom others have to decide when the person is alive versus when the body is just on auto-pilot.

So when things like this come up, they really make me do some thinking.


“I am ten years old . . . my father died fourteen years ago . . . he never met my mother . . . he was a virgin when he died.” [blink]

I wonder if Victor Frankenstein would have been in favor of abortion or euthanasia?

Many people just avoid the weird questions that come up as we find out just how much control God did give us over life, by labeling all “mucking about” as “evil,” however, this seems like sticking one’s head in the sand. Things like frozen embryos and human cloning should cause us to ask deep questions about who and what we are.

We claim to have a spiritual birthright that sets us apart from the animals, but if man can reproduce himself in a test tube, then just when is it that the “eternal spirit” comes to inahabit the being? Do we produce this also, by some chemical process or does God “step in” and plant something at some given moment in time and space? If so, when does this happen, and by what means is this “spiritual component” “attached?” If we take someone and freeze them for 40 million years, is their spirit frozen too? What happens to all of the frozen embryos when Christ returns to earth?

Before you answer, reference your answers with some scripture.

God does not reveal everything to us, and sometimes I think we get indignant about things based on our sensibilities, and not on God’s word. Opinions are fine, but just be careful not to lash out at people or label them “evil” just because you don’t think their socks coordinate properly with their scientific research. Ethics is an important topic, but “unethical” and “evil” are not the same thing. One is mostly pragmatic, while the other is most dogmatic. Make sure your dogma is based on clear scriptural teaching, and leave the rest to just the facts.

Posted 1/29/2007 10:58 PM


Things like frozen embryos and human cloning should cause us to ask deep questions about who and what we are.


I think the biggest offense of the “non-pro-life” voice these days is that issues of morality are avoided altogether. Those who raise doubts about stem-cell research in embryos are labeled “anti-science.” When congress opposes partial-birth abortion, they get chided to leave such decisions to doctors–as if the only issues involved are scientific-mechanical ones, and that law and morality have nothing to do with it.

In other words, the deep questions about who and what we are are not really welcome in the public arena. What does it mean to be human? Who wants to discuss such things. Let the scientists take care of it.

And for persuading the public? Let’s stick to marketing tactics encapsulated in nine-second sound bites.

And when does life begin?

We shouldn’t make that an easy question, but I have yet to hear a reasonable answer proposed except conception. (Please enlighten me if you’ve heard a better idea.)

As far as Scripture – well, the Bible treats unborn children as persons, so we can’t make birth the demarcation. Beyond that, I don’t think the Bible spells out an answer for us.

But just reasoning about it from that point–between conception and birth, when is there a day that the embryo becomes essentially different than the day before? Is there a particular point in time when the baby starts to be able to feel pain? To have emotions? To experience an awareness of mother and father (relationships)? All these things may be profound aspects of person-hood, but when is the moment that the line is crossed?

But the difference between sperm plus egg and the embryo is one of essence, not degree–even while the embryo remains one cell only. In terms of information the physical person is all there. Where is the spirit? I don’t know. But the body is basically what it’s going to be minus time to be realized according to the DNA that’s already there.

I know I’m in over my head in terms of the science. But I just have not heard a scientist address this matter with a different answer–without disregarding human-ness altogether.

If you want a good answer for this (I mean really good), read The Abolition of Man by C.S. Lewis. It doesn’t address details about bio-ethics, but it sure wipes out a lot of dead-end fallacies that cloud the debate. It will also make your brain a bit sore.
Posted 1/30/2007 7:19 PM by jonathan_camenisch

I’ll try to respond 🙂

As for public discussion of morality. I totally disagree. I hear ethics discussed in Washington all the time. Most people who hate Bush hate him on moral grounds. Even the desire to raise minimum wage is a moral issue, as are the issues with immigration. How about the war in Iraq?

I think the real problem is that the Christians have taken such a hard line approach that there is no room for discussion. We are so obstinate that we cannot even be talked to. It is the emotions we have to take out, not the moral issues. I have not talked to a liberal pro-choice person yet that was not willing to honestly discuss the moral implications of abortion. Remember, some of these liberals chain themselves to trees to save the earth, so they are not unwilling to discuss moral causes. (It is hard to chain yourself to someone else’s unborn child.) Anyway, I can go on, but I disagree with you there. I think that moral issues are brought up in Washington all the time. There are ethical and moral concerns with all things that deal with unborn children, but we have to be willing to discuss it, rather than just stand on our “anything that is fertilized is sacred” box and yell.

In short, remember that there are two sides, and both have moral and ethical underpinnings.

>>And for persuading the public? Let’s stick to marketing tactics encapsulated in nine-second sound bites.

🙂 Both sides are certainly guilty of that.

>>And when does life begin?
>>We shouldn’t make that an easy question, but I have yet to hear a reasonable answer proposed except conception. (Please enlighten me if you’ve heard a better idea.)

Why is “conception” reasonable? That is more what I am getting at. I am not sure it is reasonable. If it is, then there should be, well, a reason.

>>As far as Scripture – well, the Bible treats unborn children as persons, so we can’t make birth the demarcation. Beyond that, I don’t think the Bible spells out an answer for us.

Exactly, and so we should be careful when we say we are standing on the Bible, when maybe we are really out on the flyleaf.

>>But just reasoning about it from that point–between conception and birth, when is there a day that the embryo becomes essentially different than the day before? Is there a particular point in time when the baby starts to be able to feel pain? To have emotions? To experience an awareness of mother and father (relationships)? All these things may be profound aspects of person-hood, but when is the moment that the line is crossed?

Well, mice feel pain, but I set mouse traps. Dogs seem to have emotions, but we put them down when we don’t want them. Dogs are aware of relationships too, as are geese, but we shoot them.

You see, you can’t just use arbitrary standards like that. It used to be easy to say that certain things “made us human,” but when science can both show us these things in animals, as well as show us the chemical seat of these things in ourselves, they become more mechanical processes than “spirit.” We don’t really know what the spirit is. So much of what used to be attributed to the spirit is now controlled by Prozac.

>>But the difference between sperm plus egg and the embryo is one of essence, not degree–even while the embryo remains one cell only. In terms of information the physical person is all there. Where is the spirit? I don’t know. But the body is basically what it’s going to be minus time to be realized according to the DNA that’s already there.

Just wait until we can download the DNA onto your IPod and inject it into any other random cell and produce another person. Then what will we say?

The problem is that as science explains more and more, we find ourselves having to push further and further into the unknown with our reasons. As I posted before, it a possibility to just take a hard line and avoid the debate, but I think that is sticking our heads in the sand.

Religion has always used the unknown to point to God, but as more and more is known, we might need to give up on that bad habit.

>>If you want a good answer for this (I mean really good), read The Abolition of Man by C.S. Lewis. It doesn’t address details about bio-ethics, but it sure wipes out a lot of dead-end fallacies that cloud the debate. It will also make your brain a bit sore.

I will have to look into that. I have great respect for C.S. Lewis.
Posted 2/2/2007 12:56 PM by ThinkingOnTheEdge

Okay, ya pulled me into it… I am perhaps playing devil’s advocate, but only, I believe, in fairness.

>>I think the real problem is that the Christians have taken such a hard line approach that there is no room for discussion. We are so obstinate that we cannot even be talked to. It is the emotions we have to take out, not the moral issues. I have not talked to a liberal pro-choice person yet that was not willing to honestly discuss the moral implications of abortion. Remember, some of these liberals chain themselves to trees to save the earth, so they are not unwilling to discuss moral causes. (It is hard to chain yourself to someone else’s unborn child.) Anyway, I can go on, but I disagree with you there. I think that moral issues are brought up in Washington all the time. There are ethical and moral concerns with all things that deal with unborn children, but we have to be willing to discuss it, rather than just stand on our “anything that is fertilized is sacred” box and yell.

I actually think much of the problem with the “Christian right” attitude on issues such as this is that they SEPARATE the emotional traumas our society is creating (and which, IMO it IS the church’s place to minister to) from the ethical questions they are so ready to go fight for. Why is it that hundreds will line the streets for a “Life Rally” but the pregnancy resource center (which MUST exist for the prolife message not to legitimately be accused of being outright brutal) is underfunded and run down. If the legal side of the issue were “fixed”, would the church be in any state (spiritually, ethically, emotionally, financially, etc.) to address the issue of a million unwanted children and their desparate mothers each year? If not, shouldn’t be fix that first, and speak with moral credibility?

>>>>And when does life begin?
>>>>We shouldn’t make that an easy question, but I have yet to hear a reasonable answer proposed except conception. (Please enlighten me if you’ve heard a better idea.)

Which raises a fascinating aspect of the Calvinism debate, since Christ referred to “new birth”, but not, as I recall, a new conception…

>>Why is “conception” reasonable? That is more what I am getting at. I am not sure it is reasonable. If it is, then there should be, well, a reason.

Reason seems to me a questionable starting point for ethics, but I’ll hear you out…

>>>>As far as Scripture – well, the Bible treats unborn children as persons, so we can’t make birth the demarcation. Beyond that, I don’t think the Bible spells out an answer for us.

I’d suggest this be revisited from a moe devil’s advocate point of view. I’m not saying it doesn’t, just that some of the examples I’ve heard were pretty contrived…

>>Exactly, and so we should be careful when we say we are standing on the Bible, when maybe we are really out on the flyleaf.


>>>>But just reasoning about it from that point–between conception and birth, when is there a day that the embryo becomes essentially different than the day before? Is there a particular point in time when the baby starts to be able to feel pain? To have emotions? To experience an awareness of mother and father (relationships)? All these things may be profound aspects of person-hood, but when is the moment that the line is crossed?

>>Well, mice feel pain, but I set mouse traps. Dogs seem to have emotions, but we put them down when we don’t want them. Dogs are aware of relationships too, as are geese, but we shoot them.

Short of a person having memories of their time in the womb (which really weirds me out right now…), I’m not sure we (as human beings) only becoming aware of those faculties can really PROVE what an unborn child experiences. Breathing fluid to us is thought painful, yet they live on it for 9 months… Just what does a video of an unborn’s facial expression really prove? ? ? (Other than what we take it to mean?)

>>You see, you can’t just use arbitrary standards like that. It used to be easy to say that certain things “made us human,” but when science can both show us these things in animals, as well as show us the chemical seat of these things in ourselves, they become more mechanical processes than “spirit.” We don’t really know what the spirit is. So much of what used to be attributed to the spirit is now controlled by Prozac.

Or, is it possible that Prozac effectively blocks the spirit from its control on the body (just as arsenic can, only the effect lasts longer, and is more permanent)?
Posted 2/6/2007 3:18 PM by Krash2Fly

LOL. I love the arsenic to Prozac analogy. I will have to give that more thought. I think that is the best thing to come out of this thread thus far! 🙂

Seriously, that is really deep. It might deserve its own post.
Posted 2/7/2007 12:27 AM by ThinkingOnTheEdge

So really, those sisters in “Arsenic & Old Lace” were just using a drug to treat depression/loneliness. And their cure was complete!
Posted 2/7/2007 11:55 PM by ThoughtForFood

Transcendent Man

Filed under Quotes on Monday, January 29th, 2007 @ 12:43pm by Christen

Not sure where this came from:

So after Eons of technological, scientific, and general growth human kind
is creating life, exploring the multi/omni/universe, and doing things that
most of us currently can only dream of in our wildest fantasies.

We found God, of course he was never really that well hidden, and he's
been happily walking with us all along.

One day we turn to him and say: "We discovered everything, we don't need
you any more."

So god says: "Oh? Well if thats true then why not create life the same way
I did?"

Confident in our abilities as nearly transcended beings we pick up a clump
of dirt and prepare to spit into it when God stops us, and says: "Get your
own dirt."

Somewhat Random Thoughts

Filed under Xanga on Tuesday, January 23rd, 2007 @ 4:23pm by Christen

I am going somewhere in my thoughts that I express here, it is just that, well, I often find myself off in the bushes somewhere. I look around and don’t find anyone anywhere near me. So I have to really do some digging to see if I am just way off of the path, or if the path is just a lot less traveled than I realized. At the same time, I don’t need a lot of people yelling at me, telling me I am crazy. I already know that. It does help, though, to have someone point out just why I am where I am at.

Honestly, I don’t think I fully subscribe to “Solo Deo Gloria” (did I write that right?).

I don’t think that all of ungodliness around us does not speak to who we are, and who our maker is. The world is full of hundreds of religions, but they do seem to break down into several major ones. What do these religions say about us? About God?

Why are we the ones, and why is the Bible the guide?

I am not even convinced that God’s purpose and/or methods have been consistent from the start of our time until now.

I’m also not convinced that God does, or at least, that He always has understood us completely.

What is God’s nature? What is the nature of love? What is love?

Perhaps Christ really did “save” all of mankind? Is it possible that His death on the cross did cleanse every last human of his sin, past, present and future, at that moment?

Perhaps the issue of forgiveness of sins is moot, because it has been done. We have it, all of humanity, and it is over with.

Perhaps that is why God no longer punishes sin outright on the earth, because He no longer sees it.

Then, the issue of individual personal “salvation” would not be an issue of receiving God’s forgiveness, but of having a personal relationship with Him.

In short, God wanted to have a relationship with us, but He couldn’t because of our sin. So Jesus died in order to cover the sin of the entire world. Now that is done, we are all free to have a relationship with Him.

So then, the question is not, are we forgiven, but does He know us? Those who do, spend eternity with Christ, heaven, those who do not, spend eternity in, well, the same place they do now, apart from God.

I know, I know, try reading my Bible a little and see that this is all very un-scriptural. Or maybe it is just beyond what the Bible reveals? As in, “possible,” but not stated. That, too, is really not acceptable either.

Am I really to love God as a little child? As a baby? Well, my little Rebecca loves me this way. When she sees my face, she smiles and wiggles with glee. When I walk out of the room, she screams.

I can scream.
Posted 1/23/2007 4:23 PM


“To the Mystery”
Michael Card

When the Father longed to show
The love He wanted us to know
He sent His only Son and so
Became a holy embryo

That is the Mystery
More than you can see
Give up on your pondering
And fall down on your knees

A fiction as fantastic and wild
A mother made by her own child
A hopeless babe who cried
Was God Incarnate and man deified


Because the fall did devastate
Creator must now recreate
So to take our sin
Was made like us so we could be like him

Michael Card deals well with mysterious ponderings.
Posted 1/28/2007 10:51 PM by novisigothsorkangaroos

I like it. Food for thought….
Posted 1/29/2007 12:15 AM by madhatterb78

Drive Carefully!

Filed under Xanga on Sunday, January 21st, 2007 @ 12:29pm by Christen

Currently Watching Charlotte’s Web (Full Screen Edition) (Cartoon version)

I wrote a post a while back about evolution vs. creation. One point that I brought up was that Christians fear that if we allow for some form of evolution, it drains away the value of humanity and of individual human life. Something like this:

“If I am just the accidental chance result of random natural causes, then my life is meaningless, and there is no moral standard by which I am to be governed.”

In other words, whether a teenager believes that he is evolved or created has a great deal to do with his or her self worth and his or her likelihood to engage in self destructive behavior.

I once saw a really good bumper sticker that said, “Drive carefully, 90% of all people are caused by accidents!” I had to laugh out loud, and I still laugh when I think about it. It calls us to task for the way we talk about things like childbirth. I mean, really, is anyone truly an accident? Car wrecks are an accident, but people having sex is not.

The complete freedom that God has given us over the birth process really does call into question how much whether the first man and woman were evolved or created either 40 million or 10 thousand years ago really matters. I mean, honestly, at this point, any two fertile human beings can come together and make a person.

I read recently about a twenty-four year old woman that was brought into a hospital to give birth. The thing was, she was mentally retarded from birth. She had the mind of a two month old. She could not recognize people, she could not control her own movements, quite frankly, she was barely aware of her own existence! Obviously her pregnancy was the result of abuse by some caregiver, but her pregnancy was not discovered until she was about seven months along, so they had no idea who had done it.

How do you suppose the child of this woman will feel about his or her “creation?” Oh, sure you could make up flowery ideas about how God worked great miracles to bring him about, but honestly, my guess is that at the age of 14, after being bounced from one emotionally abusive foster home to another for all of his or her life, she will look at the circumstances of her birth and life and determine that she was a colossal accident. The result of the chance meeting of a morally bankrupt human being with a mentally failed human being. One failure compounded upon another to produce yet another failure. Origin does not logically, or, just as importantly, emotionally, impute value in this case.

So, quite honestly, I think it is pointless to tie the evolution debate to abortion. Sorry Ken Ham, but however the first man and woman got to be here, ever since then there has been a lot of chance, and even sin involved in the formation of subsequent human beings.

Yes, human life has great value in all forms, like diamonds, but a human life isn’t like a diamond. If you bury a diamond in a pile of manure, and then start hosing it all down, eventually you will find the diamond, pure and sparkling, just as good as new. The manure will not harm the diamond, it is not permeable. Human life is more like wood or paper. We absorb what we are exposed to, and it enhances or degrades us. At some point a human life can become indistinguishable from its surroundings. It cannot be separated from the slime it is encased in, much less cleaned up by human means.

When Christ came to this earth, it was full of ruined people, just like now. Christ gave us a way for people to be made pure again.

You see, the value in a human life really does not rest on its origin, but on its destination. A human life is not valuable because of how it came to be, but because of what it may become. Honestly, practical life really is that way. Money is valuable not because of how much time we spent earning it, but because of what it can be used to buy. So is life. A life is valuable because of Christ. Without Christ, we are without hope.

Whether we were individually created by a loving God for an eternal purpose, or whether we are all just a colossal accident, what make us special is our capacity for Christ. Whether we came from God or not, we can all go to God, and that is something more precious and more durable than diamonds.
Posted 1/21/2007 12:29 PM

1 Comment:

Yeah…but if we weren’t created by God we wouldn’t have His breath of life, and no souls. So even if our existence seems random or pointless, regardless of our worldview, we only have that value (that capacity for Christ) if we were created. That’s where it could be valuable to discuss creation/evolution with regards to abortion.
Posted 1/22/2007 1:42 PM by madhatterb78

Every feel like?

Filed under Xanga on Thursday, January 11th, 2007 @ 8:23am by Christen

Currently Listening to Live the Life by Michael W. Smith track Missing Person

Ever feel like you are just passing the time, shooting the breeze, when you really ought to be doing something like really big and really important before this whole thing called life rushes past you?

Maybe it is just harder to feel “on fire for God” when you aren’t being an idiot.

. . . and you know what stinkers they are!

Filed under Xanga on Thursday, January 11th, 2007 @ 8:07am by Christen

All of the people that I used to think were crazy have pretty much disappeared, and all of the people that I used to think were normal have gone crazy, and all of the people that I used to think were weird have gone normal on me.

“Perfectly normal human beings . . . you know what stinkers they are!”

I know I thought they were weird before, but normal is worse. Of course, it is hard to be anything but normal these days, because everyone is trying to be different. So just trying to be different makes you normal. “Counter-culture” IS culture, and the “emerging church” is becoming “the church” and soon we’ll have to have an unmerging church, or submerging church or something like that just so we can get out of this stinking normal thing.

To come to the point. Being a whacked out fundamentalist stinks, but at least it is different. Going from that to just “doing what everyone else is doing” is kind of a let down. I mean, yeah, it is cool at first to listen to cool music, wear shorts, talk to members of the opposite sex, and just generally not think God hates you 24×7. However, after a while, you just become one of the crowd. Most of the other “wild and crazy” things you can do are just what everyone else is doing. At least being a whacked out fundamentalist got you some strange looks. Listening to punk rock, having green hair and getting your body pierced don’t even attract a sneer anymore.

So what sets us apart? Before we were set apart as Christians by all of the things we didn’t do. We figured out real quick (or real slowly) that that was stupid, but then we just kind of melted into the crowd. So what sets us apart as Christians, or even as the people of God?

Then again, maybe it is just pride that seeks to “be different” and “stand out in the crowd.” Certainly a lot of us found pride in standing out in the crowd for our convictions.

Anyway, it still stinks that all of my weird fundy friends are just going normal. Some of them even think they are being “crazy” but they are just acting like normal people their age. How terribly boring.

Remember, “normal” is just a setting on your dryer.
Posted 1/11/2007 8:07 AM


Venturing into the land of “ThinkingOnTheEdge”…what a good read! I’ll have to work my way back through the old posts.
Posted 1/11/2007 2:51 PM by jonathan_camenisch

As someone said so profoundly on their blog “I was uncool before it was cool to be uncool”.
Posted 1/12/2007 8:48 AM by Krash2Fly

Ah, you can still get some pleasure from “being crazy” if you go to a Baptist church. But yeah, you pretty well hit the nail on the head with this one. Normal is boring. So I think that what we should have that nobody else does, is an awesome relationship with God. That’s not exactly normal, sadly enough, and certainly not boring =).
Posted 1/12/2007 8:54 AM by madhatterb78

Yeah, I don’t have ABS either…keeps driving a lot more exciting up here in the north 🙂 I’d done some sliding in parking lots before, usually on purpose, and often in reverse (it takes some thought to break only the back wheels loose when you have front-wheel drive), so I did know how to enjoy it, after I realized there wasn’t anything to hit and I couldn’t pull out of it.
Posted 1/19/2007 4:27 PM by madhatterb78

Prayer Log = prog?

Filed under Xanga on Tuesday, January 9th, 2007 @ 9:28pm by Christen

Currently Reading Cure for the Common Life by Max Lucado

Never mind kneeling behind a pew. From now on I’m just posting my prayer requests on Xanga! Maybe it is like Moses told God that if He killed the children of Israel, people would think He couldn’t bring them into the promised land. Maybe when I post publicly that I need help, God’s reputation is on the line to come up with an answer?

Maybe God just loves me.

Anyway, shortly after my last post, I started being bombarded by answers.

First, I emailed a good friend about what motivated him at work, and he had some very sound advice. Nothing new, but rather old stuff that is good. I will summarize what he said:

Paul spoke of his death in the terms of being “poured out as a drink offering.”

What Paul said of his death, I want to characterize my life each day – to be a living sacrifice. Whether I live or die, feast or famine, enjoy my work or loathe it, have success or failure; I want to do it unto the Lord – with an intensity that corresponds to His great worth.

And I don’t think it matters if that is conveyed to other people. I just want God to look upon me and receive my worship. He can handle the collateral effects.

So when turns into drudgery, or I feel unmotivated, I count that as a special opportunity to worship God a different way.

I also count that as an opportunity to “suffer for righteousness sake.” Maybe that’s a stretch; I know it’s not at all like being flogged or having your intestines pulled out because of Christ. However, I look at it as my little opportunity to suffer *the right way* – not necessarily suffer a lot. If I suffer for disobedience there’s no honor in that, but if I suffer for obeying God, that’s a privilege.

Now he is not promoting “suffering on purpose,” but if I am 100% sure that where I am right now is where God has put me (and if I am honest with myself, I am sure of that right now), then if I suffer, I do it for Him, right? Even lack of “fulfillment” can be suffering.

I wasn’t fully satisfied with this answer at first, but I talked to my wife about it after I read it. What frustrated me is that I know if my heart is truly in my work, I do good work, and if it isn’t, then my work is mediocre. I can’t just put my heart into something by an act of my will any more than I can stop being afraid by an act of my will. Hmm, but didn’t God spend a lot of scripture telling people to “fear not?”

She pointed out Colossians 3:23 “And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men;” Now, doesn’t “heartily” mean “put your heart into it?” Then, before I could protest too much, she pointed out that a lot of the people he was writing to were slaves! Hmm, well, I certainly can’t say my work is as bad as slavery!

So that really got me thinking. Perhaps my feelings of heartlessness in my work are due to simply failing to do it “unto God” with my whole heart. In other words, get up, go to work, and serve my employer as unto God. Wow, you know, I think I can do that.

Now, realize, I think here God is pouring out some grace, because I don’t think you can just “put this on,” but the words rang true to me, and I feel it.

So now I have this fire burning in me, “Yeah, I’ll work for the Lord.”

Then that evening my wife and I walk into the library, and sitting on the shelf, right in front of me, like turned sideways on a display rack, is this book by Max Lucado called “Cure for the Common Life.” I pick it up, and sure enough, it is a book about finding your calling in life, and finding fulfillment in your work! Wow God! Needless to say, I checked it out.

Then on Sunday morning John preached about not worrying about “what should I do,” but rather about being the right person. Psalms 1 says that if we are the right person, then God will lead us, and we will prosper. Funny, I’ve always considered Psalm 1 my life verse, because I feel God does prosper me as I follow Him.

So there it is, 1 2 3:

1. DO pour myself into my work, as unto God. As my worship and sacrifice to Him. He does see it, and He is pleased with me when I do my work as unto Him, even if it seems meaningless and even if it goes unnoticed, I can go home at the end of the day feeling good about myself if I know I did my work as a sacrifice, with all of my heart, to God Himself.

2. DO search out what other things God may be calling me to in the future through my desires,

3. BUT, don’t focus as much on “what will I do” (don’t toil and spin), but on God and delighting in Him, and the rest will fall into place in His perfect time. In other words, if I am seeking God, I can’t miss it, and in the mean time, I might as well enjoy life as it comes.

Wow God!

Now, I won’t say “It is working!” yet, because honestly, it is only Tuesday evening. Catch me in a few weeks and see if it is for real. 😉

P.S. Also, if you are going to use music to get in touch with your feelings, may I suggest URGE? $9.95 per month for all the music you want, very cool! 🙂

P.P.S. I really dislike “feel a loathing for” (I’ll have to post about cats sometime in the future) Max Lucado’s writing style. Always have. However, the book is really good, and it is an easy read.

Cut in Half

Filed under Xanga on Friday, January 5th, 2007 @ 10:44am by Christen

Currently Listening to Jammed! by Phil Keaggy

Is my life meant to be split up into pieces?

When I am home, I feel alive and free and joy. Life is good.

When I sit in this chair at work, I feel lost, alone and pointless.

I feel like the animals that Abraham split apart down the center into two pieces when he made the covenant with God . . . namely . . . that feeling wold be . . . dead.

Maybe it is just part of the fall, that we must endure futility.

Sometimes I wonder if my feelings are stronger than the reality, but then I look at myself. Here is what I do in the office that convinces me that I’m not putting my heart into it:

* I put off the daily tasks of my job as long as possible.
* I figure out how to put the least effort into any request I get.
* I escape from my office through the radio (news of a real world out there) and music (people actually feeling an emotion about something).
* I can’t even think when I get up in the morning why it is that I need to get into the office on time.

I have skills, and I can be very good at my job, but I find myself suddenly losing interest in the skill of my own hands. It is a strange feeling. Like a man who has been a carpenter for a decade suddenly sitting down, and looking at his hands, and realizing that he has no pleasure in their skill or in the products that he creates.

What I crave is to:

* Help people
* Innovate
* Discover

Maybe this is simply the sacrifice that must be made for those I live for. Maybe this is just the curse that we all live under. Maybe I’m just a malcontent.
Posted 1/5/2007 10:44 AM


dude dont worry im with you. on the office part I have no clue but on the part about helping peple and discovering it is so true. not one day goes by that I dont think hey how bout I find something new to do for today instead of doing the same old stupid work thing. your not alone man. lol
Posted 1/6/2007 7:18 PM by mynameischrisandimbored

Ya sure nailed it, Christen! I know EXACTLY the feelings you described. I go online an work for the same reasons you go to the radio and music (like right now…)
Why do we calling it making a living, when it isn’t?
Posted 1/8/2007 1:01 PM by Krash2Fly


Filed under Xanga on Thursday, January 4th, 2007 @ 12:22pm by Christen

Currently Listening to Awake by Josh Groban

I have really been enjoying a song on the latest Josh Groban CD called “You Are Loved” It is really a powerful song. I imagine God singing it to me.

A favorite line is:

“if silence keeps you, I will break it for you”

I am afraid I really long for God to break the silence of the past 2000 years. I imagine the sky splitting as God breaks the silence and speaks to us.

On the other hand, I feel ungrateful for feeling this way, because I know that Christ Himself was God’s breaking of the silence. Christ is God’s Word to us.

I still long to hear God speak to the planet. I wonder when I cry because I can’t hear God, if He is also crying because we can’t hear Him? What is it that stops Him from speaking out and making Himself more known to us?

Ah well, here I sit, listing to and watching the “AT&T/Bell South Merger Celebration Town Hall” meeting webcast. Do you know that group applause sounds really terrible when digitally compressed? Maybe that is why UTube videos are not “filmed before a live studio audience.” It is funny how similar large corporate meetings are to large church meetings. Same sutes (no I can’t spell it any better than I can wear them), same conservative ties, same gray haired guys going on about something or the other, and the same periodic group applause. Wow, these guys look familiar. I can see how “Christian Conservative” gets mixed up with “Corporate America.” They even use the same clinches, and use strange terminology and put words together in ways that sound fancy, but don’t really mean very much. Both are just as boring too.

Gosh, I am such a hippie aren’t I? I watch this and think, “What the heck am I doing here?” Oh yeah, I’m making money. “It’s a living.” as they say. I really do want to do something where I help people every day, and the bottom line of my organization’s purpose is something more laudable than “shareholder value.”

Or maybe I’m just a malcontent.

God, is this discontentment and longing for something more meaningful to do with 40 hours a week from you, or am I just failing to be as grateful (and I am grateful for the money) to you as I should be for what you are providing for me?

Please do break the silence for me!

Posted 1/4/2007 12:22 PM

1 Comment:

Wow … I can relate. Have you ever wondered if Satan delays God’s messages, like he did with Daniel?
Posted 1/5/2007 12:10 PM by madhatterb78

Equal Opportunity

Filed under Xanga on Wednesday, January 3rd, 2007 @ 11:00am by Christen

Since this nitwit is so set on maintaining old testament law about things like the borders of Israel, do we also get to stone him if he is a false prophet?


Future prophecy really hasn’t been part of the New Testament church. In the Old Testament, it was quite common, however, the penalty for false prophecy was death, so people didn’t just rattle off silly comments at random like this.

Deuteronomy 18:20-22
But a prophet who presumes to speak in my name anything I have not commanded him to say, or a prophet who speaks in the name of other gods, must be put to death.”
You may say to yourselves, “How can we know when a message has not been spoken by the LORD ?” If what a prophet proclaims in the name of the LORD does not take place or come true, that is a message the LORD has not spoken. That prophet has spoken presumptuously. Do not be afraid of him.

“relatively good” doesn’t cut it!

Interestingly, the penalty for false prophecy is the same as for adultery, prostitution, rape, incest and sodomy. So we can simply apply any judgment that old Patty wants to levy on any of those in this list to him, since he has put himself into the same boat with them.

Matthew 7:2: For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again.

If what this man passes off is Christianity, then I am a Buddhist
Posted 1/3/2007 11:00 AM


I thought that would get you to post. 🙂
Posted 1/3/2007 11:36 AM by ThoughtForFood

It the classic words of Martin Luther in the old b/w movie on his life “The Lord deliver me from my enemies… AND FROM MY FRIENDS!”
Posted 1/4/2007 7:49 AM by Krash2Fly

More, more about Jesus

Filed under Xanga on Wednesday, December 27th, 2006 @ 12:52pm by Christen

Currently Listening to The Fountain by Kronos Quartet, Mogwai

Christianity has been reduced to a set of rules, or, at best, a “way of life.”

Look, don’t people realize that a belief in God, and in an ability to know Him is wild and crazy stuff? How about a God who became flesh, as a baby!

Watch Space Odyssey 2001, the entire Lord of the Rings Trilogy and The Fountain, all in a marathon run. You should be shocked, awed, amazed, thrilled, impassioned, thoroughly weirded out and tired.

That is Christianity! A wild story beyond human imagination, that is true. Magnificence, power, powerful ideas, powerful feelings and mighty deeds. A story that spans the ages from before time to beyond human comprehension.

HEY! Christianity is NOT about the Republican Party. It is NOT about a list of rules or a “life style.” It is NOT a culture. It is Christ, it is the man, the God, the mystery.

Yes, all of this leads to actions, but when I say actions, I mean this: When you wake up in the morning, and open your eyes, you should look out into the future, out past the end of the your nose, past the end of the day, past the end of the year, past the end of your life, past the end of your self, past the end of the ages of this sphere, past the end of time, and then keep looking out. Then base your actions on what you see there.

When you stub your toe on the chair in the morning, that does not affect what you see there. However, when you hug your wife close to you and tell her that you love her, that does. When you lift up your child in your arms and hold her close to yourself, that does. When you eat and when you drink, that does not, but when you smile, that does.

When you look around you then, do you see all of the dust? The dust sifting out of your life? The dust in your driveway, the dust on your desk, the dust that surrounds you?

Look through all of that swirling dust that creates a dark cloud, and you will see the people, the eternal souls that are still there, lingering past the edge of time. They are real, and they matter. The people, and the thoughts and ideas that move between them are all that transcends the mountains of dust that we live among.

Yes, some of the dust is useful, and even important, but only is as much as it affects that which transcends. We must transcend, we must both continue forth into eternity, and we must affect that eternity into which we transcend. Otherwise all is futile, and nihilism becomes the only sane answer to life.

Posted 12/27/2006 12:52 PM

1 Comment:

No wonder I like you. 🙂 I love the way you think.
Posted 12/28/2006 9:40 AM by ThoughtForFood

keyring Notes

Filed under Knowledge Base on Tuesday, December 26th, 2006 @ 3:40pm by Christen

Export your key as an OpenSSH (password pretected) key file
Put a copy of the pub key in a file with the same name . pub (ie Mykey.OpenSSH.key.pub)

keyring /filename
source ~.keychain/USERID-sh
ssh host

should work!

offlineimap for Zaurus NOTES

Filed under Knowledge Base on Tuesday, December 26th, 2006 @ 3:38pm by Christen

offlineimap from feed: http://mail.pdaxrom.org/contrib/rgrep/
edit ‘which offlineimap’ and replace:
#!/usr/bin/env python2.3
#!/usr/bin/env python
mv /usr/lib/python2.3/offlineimap/ /usr/lib/python2.4/
In the end I toasted most of this and copied the files from the latest distro from http://quux.org/devel/offlineimap/
You need to backup these files:

Either back those up and reuse them, or just pull them again from the distro.
Remember to:
edit ‘which offlineimap’ and replace:
#!/usr/bin/env python2.3
#!/usr/bin/env python

Except a corn of wheat fall into the ground and die, it abideth alone . . .

Filed under Xanga on Tuesday, December 12th, 2006 @ 9:41pm by Christen

. . . but if it die, it bringeth forth much fruit. (or violets?)

We saw The Fountain tonight. I really enjoyed it.

Now I have to admit, I liked, and still like, 2001 Space Odyssey, and they are very similar. Honestly, I like things that are strange.

However, aside from just generally enjoying the oddness, I really liked the story.

Now, if you tell me you couldn’t follow the story line, then please never debate theology with me, you are obviously not up to the mental challenge.

That said, I really think it was a great story with a good moral. I would sum it up this way:

There is no eternal life without first passing through death, and Eternal life starts now.

The man in the story was continually trying to find eternal life without dying. He was, quite honestly, afraid of death. He wanted to pass into eternity without dying. That, my friend, just isn’t an option. When we understand better, and have faith, then we will not fear death, but instead, see it as the next step toward life eternal. It isn’t an easy step, but most great steps in life are not.

Secondly, the man was always putting off spending time with his wife, so that he could, well, spend more time with her. He ignored her so that he could find a cure for her cancer, so that she would live forever (or at least longer, though eventually his quest led him to seek not just a cure for cancer, but a cure for death). He needed to begin his eternal life by spending every last minute of his mortal life with his wife before she passed into the next life.

He was looking for eternal life to be something that would start in the future, but it starts right now, this very second.

I like it, and I think it is a keeper. I could use it to witness to others, and actually, I think it even ministered to me and changed me a little. I was telling God on my way to work today that I do have fears. I am afraid of people, and I am afraid of death. Watching this movie helped me to internalize and actually feel that I not only do not need to fear death, but that it is actually quite useless to fear it.

Oh, and now whenever I read John 12:24, I will always remember him dropping the tree seed into the ground over his wife’s grave. That was one of my favorite scenes in the movie.
Posted 12/12/2006 9:41 PM


thanks alot man. well I decided to go with red again. just because of the door pannel thing. man I didnt know you sold the stang, buy hey thats cool because miatas are alot of fun just dont wreck it cause that wont be fun. oh yea and you, your wife, and your child were awsome on sunday just thought id let ya know. later
Posted 12/19/2006 12:22 AM by mynameischrisandimbored

i missed you guys… thought maybe i just didn’t see you. i’ll have to come by and tell y’all about the wedding. and show pics.
did you get a miata?
Posted 12/23/2006 1:35 PM by midwifebethany

Show Installed patches on Solaris

Filed under Unix Notes on Monday, December 11th, 2006 @ 4:03pm by Christen

showrev -p

New Shoes

Filed under Xanga on Thursday, December 7th, 2006 @ 9:08am by Christen

I never posted the last thing I wrote because I thought I would either be labeled a heretic or given up for insane. So I’ll just post about something else for a change.

I like change, I like it a lot. I get bored easily with the status quo, and I like to mix things up when they get stagnate. I am also very nostalgic and sentimental though.

So when my Nike’s started to completely fall apart after many years of good service, I had mixed emotions. It sounded fun to seek out and buy a new pair of “athletic shoes,” but my Nike’s had some history.

During my time in Indy, I managed to come to a place of having no athletic shoes. I just didn’t get out enough. When I was in Chicago, I realized that I really had nothing to “play” in. So when I returned home “for good” I was aware that I had been without any shoes other than deck shoes and dress shoes for a few years.

One evening I was out with a good friend of mine, and she said that she needed shoes, and that there was a sale going on. She said I should buy shoes too. I was kind of hesitant. I hadn’t planned on buying shoes then, and it seemed like a lot of money. However, she was right, I did need them, and she could help me pick them out, which I was grateful for.

So we both bought shoes together. It was fun, and I had a pair of Nike’s.

That was about five years ago! My how life changes and stays the same. I wore those shoes day after day after day and even repaired them a few times to keep them going. I wore them all over the country, and for all sorts of activities. I got married, bought a house, had three children, and found a new church.

My friendship changed too. We went different ways, developed our own lives and saw less of each other. Then our lives diverged more and I rarely saw her. I always considered her a friend though. Then the last time I saw her, she did not want to see me. 🙁 That was a real shock to me. I probably missed something really important somewhere, but I was very surprised.

Have you ever lost a friend before? I mean, had someone that was your friend not want to be your friend anymore? Maybe it is common, but I honestly haven’t had a huge number of friends, and I’ve never lost one that way before. I’ve lost contact due to physical distance. But to be in the same room with someone who used to be my friend, and now doesn’t want to see me anymore is very hard. I don’t know whose fault it was. Probably mine.

So I didn’t really want to leave behind my shoes, but I had to. I didn’t really want to leave behind a friendship, but maybe that isn’t my choice to make either. Maybe we wear out friendships sometimes too? (I did not say friends wear out, just the friendship.) Or maybe, just like shoes, I can damage a friendship unwittingly by misuse, even if I wasn’t aware of it until too late. Fortunately, I can pray for my friends, which I do. I don’t pray for my shoes. 🙂

My new shoes are nice, but they don’t have any happy memories attached to them. Happy memories are probably the coolest feature of all. 🙂

“By revolution we become more ourselves, not less.” -George Orwell

Filed under Quotes on Monday, November 13th, 2006 @ 2:22pm by Christen
"By revolution we become more ourselves, not less."  -George Orwell

Move network cable to another port on Solaris

Filed under Unix Notes on Monday, October 30th, 2006 @ 12:12pm by Christen

Port CE0 on the quad card (NIC) appears to be bad.

Even though the lights were all showing good link status on the card, the box was unpingable. When I put in the ticket with SUN on the NIC, the SUN tech was actually on site. He suggested moving the cable to another port on the same card. After he did this and I plumbed the port and assigned an address to it, connectivity was restored.

So the box is working now, but port CE0 is bad.

Here is how it looks now:

root@hostname: ifconfig -a
lo0: flags=1000849 mtu 8232 index 1
inet netmask ff000000
ce0: flags=11000802 mtu 1500 index 2
inet netmask ffffff00 broadcast
groupname nicgroup
ether …
ce2: flags=1000843 mtu 1500 index 3
inet netmask ffffff00 broadcast
ether …

Please be aware that when the NIC is replaced, the network cable needs to be moved back to port CE0.

Also please be aware that if the box is rebooted before the NIC is replaced it will revert to using CE0. You will need to manually bring up CE2 again. There is no reason that I am aware of for the box to be rebooted before the NIC is replaced.

Here are the commands I used to bring up the IP on CE2:

ifconfig ce2 plumb
ifconfig ce2
ifconfig ce2 netmask broadcast
ifconfig ce2 up
ifconfig ce0 down

Replace Text in Files with Perl

Filed under Unix Notes on Monday, October 30th, 2006 @ 11:58am by Christen

I didn’t write this, just posting it here for my reference:

Subject: UNIX Trick

Here’s a really quick way to edit a bunch of files in a search and replace manner. For example, I had 80 files for sending test transactions and had to change the IP Addr when I copied them to each server. I could have manually edited each one, but by using the following, I was able to change it in all 80 in a matter of about 10 seconds. It’s done using “perl” from the command line and is similar to using global replaces within “vi” if you’ve ever used that.

perl -pi -e ‘s/wordToFind/replaceWithThisWord/’ *.fileExtension
perl -pi -e ‘s/wordToFind/replaceWithThisWord/g’*.fileExtension
perl -pi -e ‘s/wordToFind/replaceWithThisWord/gi’*.fileExtension

Remember to escape any special characters like “*”, “.”, etc by putting a “\” in front. Here’s the command I used this morning that shows what I mean:

perl -pi -e ‘s/192\.168\.1\.75/10\.0\.0\.79/g’ *

The above command replaces with in all the files in the directory I was working in. I put the “\” in front of the “.” to instruct perl to ignore the special meaning of the “.”

Useful Links for Unix Admins

Filed under Unix Notes on Monday, October 30th, 2006 @ 10:39am by Christen

Network Calculators:

Miscilaneous Solaris Notes:

NIC Speed:

Java slow? Research. Ideas:

Php arrays:

SUN Account PW’s and locking/non-login accts.

Filesystem Corruption on a Veritas Disk

Filed under Unix Notes on Monday, October 30th, 2006 @ 10:26am by Christen

I had filesystem corruption on a veritas disk. In order to fix it I had to do this:

You will need to:
1) boot from an alternate disk from the ok prompt boot otherlocation -s
2) stop the Veritas volumes vxvol -g rootdg stopall
run a vxprint -htrg rootdg and make sure the volumes are disabled
3) fsck -o f -y /dev/rdsk/c#t#d#s0 where c#t#d# it the rootdisk from a vxdisk list
reitterate until it gives no errors, or until it only gives the “FILE SYSTEM STATE IN SUPERBLOCK IS WRONG” error.
root@hostname: vxdisk list
c1t0d0s2 sliced appldg01 appldg online
c1t1d0s2 sliced appldg02 appldg online
c1t2d0s2 sliced – – error
c2t0d0s2 sliced rootdisk rootdg online
c2t1d0s2 sliced hotspare rootdg online nohotuse
c3t0d0s2 sliced rootmirror rootdg online
c3t1d0s2 sliced appldg03 appldg online
c3t2d0s2 sliced appldg04 appldg online

– then re-enable the rootvol:
vxvol -g rootdg start rootvol

Then check it again, now it checks the mirors too:

fsck -o f -y /dev/vx/rdsk/rootdg/rootvol

4) make sure you can mount the root disk by slices mount /dev/dsk/c#t#d#s0 /mnt
5) umount /mnt
6) reboot off of rootdisk

Word Symbols

Filed under Knowledge Base on Thursday, October 26th, 2006 @ 7:34am by Christen

Or try U+221F, 2220, 2221, 2222 in Unicode fonts (… Type 2221, then =
Alt+X … If you have a Unicode font with those angle symbols installed, =
Word will likely choose it automatically.)

CORE files on SUN Solaris

Filed under Unix Notes on Wednesday, October 25th, 2006 @ 1:29pm by Christen

I expect to find core dump files in /, and I often do, but also if the system crashes, the system core dumps should be saved under /var/crash

Outlook using HUGE amounts of RAM

Filed under Knowledge Base on Tuesday, October 24th, 2006 @ 12:56pm by Christen

Disable add-on “Exchange SCAN”

Feelings are never “wrong” or “bad”

Filed under Xanga on Friday, October 20th, 2006 @ 12:46pm by Christen

Currently Reading The World According to Mister Rogers by Fred Rogers

Godseeker23 said this yesterday: “A kid I babysit found out that “bleeding” is not synonymous with “hurting.” (She stuck her finger in the scissors.) I hate it when kids bleed.”

That got me thinking about emotions. Stopping a person from crying or yelling does not stop the emotion behind the outburst. No one likes to see a kid bleed, but what about watching a kid have an emotional outburst? What about listening to a teenager talk about feelings that you feel are destructive to them? If your son tells you he wants to commit suicide, what do you do? What if your daughter tells you she is in love with a creep? Do you go nuts and tell them they shouldn’t think such things and must stop now?

I know people who were told that they were “bad” or “sinning” when they shared feelings that made their parents uncomfortable. This efficitively taught them to bottle up their feelings and not share them.

The problem is, the feelings don’t go away just because you stop sharing them. In fact, quite the opposite, we tend to more easily release emotions that we have expressed.

Emotions are like gas, if we keep it in, it hurts and makes us feel bad, but if we let it out, then we feel better, and it is done and gone. Sometimes, though, letting it out is embarrasing and makes other people uncomfortable.

The same goes with actions really. When your teenage son comes in with some body alteration (piercing, tattoo, etc) that you generally dislike, what do you say? When your daughter comes down the stairs in some outfit that makes you think more of illicit solicitation what do you do? If your son or daughter starts listening to “death metal,” getting into knives, and generally acting anti-social, what is the right response?

To me I think the first thing on your mind should not be, “You are NOT leaving the house like that!” Instead, the first question in your mind, that you should work to answer, is, “why?” What feelings is my son trying to express through these things that he knows I don’t like? What emotions is my daughter feeling that are causing her to want to dress this way? Then the next thing is not to tell them the emotions are sin.

So, all that, to get here. If my teenager starts acting or dressing strangly, or blows up, I know to talk to them like an adult and discuss their feelings openly. But what do I do with a two or three year old? I want them to feel free to share their feelings or emotions. However, screaming at the top of their lungs, or lying on the floor crying for thirty minutes because they don’t want to put their shirt on is not acceptable. How do I make the line between teaching them to behave themselves, and teaching them to bottle up their emotions?

I have a book of quotes from Mr. Rogers. There is a really good one about how our feelings are not “good” or “bad,” but just “there.” I’ll have to look that up and post it here later. Funny how the cutting edge theology of 2005 completely falls to it’s knees over simple principles that Mr. Rogers was promoting on public television over 20 years ago.

Posted 10/20/2006 12:46 PM


The way you explained approaching other people gives them room for aspects of their life that you don’t know are there. That’s good. Only God knows everything.
Posted 10/20/2006 11:13 PM by Godseeker23

And you don’t have to tell a person their feelings are bad to get them to stop telling you about it. Just explain to them from the Bible that that’s the wrong way to feel. It works.
Posted 10/20/2006 11:17 PM by Godseeker23

Someone might almost think we’d discussed this subject before. 😀 It wasn’t planned–honest!
Posted 10/21/2006 10:51 AM by ThoughtForFood

whats crazy is alot of adults have no clue on what to do with their teen or their younger kid. my thoughts are that if you bring them up right you wont run into alot of those problems when they are teenagers. and by the time they are teens they are mature beyond their years so their is no struggle with that. very good post it got me thinkin. lol
Posted 10/21/2006 1:19 PM by mynameischrisandimbored

So what do you do if your kid decides he likes to be correct, dress in a shirt and tie, and other such abnormal behavior. Can that be an indication of something wrong, deep inside?
Posted 11/19/2006 11:31 PM by madhatterb78

You mean abnormal behavior, like wearing polo shirts with the top button buttoned? 😛
Posted 11/21/2006 10:54 AM by ThinkingOnTheEdge

lol…a prime example

<---- Posted 11/22/2006 12:23 AM by madhatterb78 Ted Dekker thinks they are, which got me thinking about it. Not everyone, it's true--but maybe a subculture, and maybe within the church. Reason isn't bad, it's just easier to logicize stuff than to fall in love with Jesus. (Takes less commitment.) You hear what I'm saying, don't you? What do you think? Posted 12/6/2006 12:13 PM by Godseeker23

Screen Notes

Filed under Unix Notes on Tuesday, October 3rd, 2006 @ 11:24am by Christen

I found some time recently to play with the screen program.

Telnet into your server.
Now run:
screen -R -T vt100

Now do whatever you want, open a file with less, edit a file in vi, or
start a TUI, or whatever.

Now hit that big X in the upper corner. That is right, just toast your
telnet session, don’t exit out if it, just toast it.

Now log into your server again.
Now run:
screen -R -T vt100

You should be right back where you left from! Screen does not terminate
when your session drops, and it holds whatever programs, or sessions you
have open with it open too. Even ssh sessions to other servers.

I have the line “screen -R -T vt100” as the last line in my .profile on
my server, and it was saving my tail almost daily while I was WFH. Every
time the VPN dropped me, I didn’t have to start over what was doing, or
wonder just what the patch job did when it got terminated half way

(Technical NOTE: The -R tells screen to reconnect to any unconnected
screen session for the user, and if there isn’t one, start a new one, so
it either starts new, or connects. The -T gives screen the terminal
type. I found that programs like vi went nuts without this.)

Screen does lots of other cool things too. Here are some good sites
about it:

Another cool feature is that two (or more) people can connect to the
SAME screen session. Great for training and collaborating. Since you can
do a telnet/ssh session from screen, there is no need for it to run on
your server, you can just start from your server and go from there. I
haven’t thoroughly tested that feature yet.

Here is my .screenrc file:
hardstatus on
hardstatus lastline
hardstatus string ‘Current:%n %t | %W | %C%A %D, %M %d, %Y’
vbell_msg “BEEP!”
bell_msg ‘BEEP on %n’
vbell off

It gives me a nice status line at the bottom with a list of the open windows within screen and their names. I use some scripts to make sure my new windows get good names when I open them. I haven’t experiemented with the status line much, but it could probably be a lot fancier.
MultiUser Mode:

you have to go to the command mode (ctrl a 🙂 and type multiuser on and
then command mode again and type acladd userid where userid is the
person you want to share with and you have to do that for every userid.

SUN Patch Return Codes

Filed under Unix Notes on Tuesday, September 26th, 2006 @ 1:18pm by Christen

Patch Return Codes

The complete list:
#               0       No error
#               1       Usage error
#               2       Attempt to apply a patch that’s already been applied
#               3       Effective UID is not root
#               4       Attempt to save original files failed
#               5       pkgadd failed
#               6       Patch is obsoleted
#               7       Invalid package directory
#               8       Attempting to patch a package that is not installed
#               9       Cannot access /usr/sbin/pkgadd (client problem)
#               10      Package validation errors
#               11      Error adding patch to root template
#               12      Patch script terminated due to signal
#               13      Symbolic link included in patch
#               14      NOT USED
#               15      The prepatch script had a return code other than 0.
#               16      The postpatch script had a return code other than 0.
#               17      Mismatch of the -d option between a previous patch
#                       install and the current one.
#               18      Not enough space in the file systems that are targets
#                       of the patch.
#               19      $SOFTINFO/INST_RELEASE file not found
#               20      A direct instance patch was required but not found
#               21      The required patches have not been installed on the manager
#               22      A progressive instance patch was required but not found
#               23      A restricted patch is already applied to the package
#               24      An incompatible patch is applied
#               25      A required patch is not applied
#               26      The user specified backout data can’t be found
#               27      The relative directory supplied can’t be found
#               28      A pkginfo file is corrupt or missing
#               29      Bad patch ID format
#               30      Dryrun failure(s)
#               31      Path given for -C option is invalid
#               32      Must be running Solaris 2.6 or greater
#               33      Bad formatted patch file or patch file not found
#               34      The appropriate kernel jumbo patch needs to be installed
#               35      Later revision already installed

Nuke Gay Whales for Jesus!

Filed under Xanga on Thursday, August 31st, 2006 @ 10:09am by Christen

Currently Listening to A Collision by David Crowder Band

If Jesus were on earth today, who would He be eating with?

Well, when he was here he ate with people that:

A. Were known sinners.

B. Were rejected by the established religion of his day as evil and to be avoided.

What group of people pretty much fills that role today?

If Jesus were on earth today, he woud be eating with gays and lesbians.
Posted 8/31/2006 10:09 AM


wow thanks….
Posted 8/31/2006 5:37 PM by mynameischrisandimbored

who is this?
Posted 9/1/2006 11:53 AM by Kristy_Goode_07

I think you’re right. And I think he’d also hang out with skateboarders. And he’d offer them life, something (someone) that would satisfy…
Posted 9/2/2006 11:15 AM by Krash2Fly

Hey, my guess is that I’ll move to a different college after high school. I imagine it’s a similar experience to moving from high school to college. And no, I hadn’t noticed any editing problems. I guess I’m just easier to please. I think myabe possibly what he means when he says “mask”, is the show we try to put on to please others…I think.
Posted 9/5/2006 6:46 PM by madhatterb78

You’re probably right.
Posted 10/18/2006 11:51 PM by Godseeker23

Give it some serious thought!

Filed under Xanga on Monday, August 21st, 2006 @ 4:10pm by Christen

If you were born in Iraq, to Muslim parents, would you currently be a Christian?

Think about that real hard.

Just why DO you believe? I don’t mean why do you believe that Jesus Christ is the Son of the living God, but I mean why do you even consider the idea? Why are you predisposed to think that? Why is that the more logical choice in your mind? Why is it even an option on your plate?
Posted 8/21/2006 4:10 PM


that would have to be the hardest questions I have faced and are currently facing in my life.
Posted 8/22/2006 2:47 PM by mynameischrisandimbored

This is a conversation from “Rebecca of Sunnybrook Farm”. It bothered me a little when I was young, but I always liked it, too, in a heretical sort of way. 🙂

“Why not go out as a missionary to Syria, as the Burches are always coaxing you to? The Board would pay your expenses.”

“I can’t make up my mind to be a missionary,”
Rebecca answered. “I’m not good enough in the first place, and I don’t `feel a call,’ as Mr. Burch says you must…. I don’t want to go thousands of miles away teaching people how to live when I haven’t learned myself. It isn’t as if the heathen really needed me; I’m sure they’ll come out all right in the end.”

“I can’t see how; if all the people who ought to go out to save them stay at home as we do,” argued Emma Jane.

“Why, whatever God is, and wherever He is, He must always be there, ready and waiting. He can’t move about and miss people. It may take the heathen a little longer to find Him, but God will make allowances, of course. He knows if they live in such hot climates it must make them lazy and slow; and the parrots and tigers and snakes and bread-fruit trees distract their minds; and having no books, they can’t think as well; but they’ll find God somehow, some time.”

“What if they die first?” asked Emma Jane.

“Oh, well, they can’t be blamed for that; they don’t die on purpose,” said Rebecca, with a comfortable theology.
Posted 8/25/2006 2:39 PM by ThoughtForFood

Socket Compact Flash Bluetooth Adaptor

Filed under Knowledge Base on Monday, August 14th, 2006 @ 11:44am by Christen

First, the card would not work for me when I started using it in my new laptop at work.

The program would start, and when I inserted the card it would say “Starting bluetooth…” but that was it. It never worked.

Here is what I did to make it work:

1. In Device Manager, under Network Adapters enable Cisco Systems VPN Adapter.

2. In Device Manager DISABLE the built in Modem.

3. In Device Manager DISABLE the external COMM port.

Now, I know, you say, “What does this have to do with bluetooth, and most people don’t have Cisco VPN on their computer!?” Yes, I know, but doing these three things has made it work consistently. I have tried any “one” of them, and it only works if I do ALL THREE.
Second, DRIVERS! SocketCOM seems to be very stingy about giving out the drivers for XP. They do send them via tech support. Here are the links they gave me:

First, THIS is the one I use, it works for me on XP:

Now here are two other links I got from them. One is for an old version. Tech support told me I had to install the old version first, and then the new one, but that is not true. I used the above one by itself on a new computer just fine. You should not need the links below, but I put them here for documentation:
http://www.socketcom.com/ftp/BlueSoleil%  http://www.socketcom.com/ftp/BlueSoleil_1.6.1.4.zip


Filed under Xanga on Monday, August 14th, 2006 @ 10:48am by Christen

Currently Reading The Jesus I Never Knew by Philip Yancey

Due to lack of time, I’ve not written the things I have planned to write here yet. That said, I am going to post something here that I wrote a few months ago. I never took time to fully edit it, so it may contain mistakes.

So here goes, I look forward to your comments.


There have been times in the past when the church (Bible) and science conflicted on issues, which the church felt would destroy faith, and thus was afraid of. Heliocentrism (the idea that the sun is at the center of the galaxy, as opposed to the earth) is a VERY good example. Ask Galileo how that went! (See: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Heliocentrism )

Science eventually won out on heliocentrism and the church did not suffer.

I believe that evolution may or may not be true and that if it is, it will win and the church will not be hurt. We should not be afraid of evolution. Please remember this point as you read.

I think that Christians have two great concerns about evolution.

1. If God made us, then we are important and special and have intrinsic value. If we are just mere accidents of chance, then our very existence as both individuals and as a species is trivial. A trivialization of an individual’s existence can lead to deep depression, a failure to contribute to society, and a lack of concern for fellow man which leads to a survival of the fittest mentality. A trivialization of the human species in general leads to all sorts of extreme actions and views. It can lead to a belief that a human life is no more important than the life of a tree. This seems extreme, but we all know of examples of actions based on such a line of thinking. Many Christians feel that a great deal of the crime that exists in our society is a result of people believing that neither they, nor their fellow many has any intrinsic value.

2. If God created the universe, then He has a unique insight into the way the universe functions. This unique understanding gives credence to any direction He may have given us on how we should conduct our lives. This direction we believe to be in the Bible. The Bible is not to be followed because God will be angry with us if we don’t, but rather because it is the instruction book from the maker. To give a specific example: I do not believe that promiscuity is wrong simply because God will be angry with us if we are not celibate and monogamous, but because God made the universe in such a way that everything works best when intercourse is restricted to a man and his wife. It just works best that way, because God made it that way. If we say the universe just came together by accident, then we open up the idea that society can change the rules by which it is governed. Many Christians believe that people, especially young people, are making decisions with their life that are based on the idea that they are just an accident, and that no one really knows what is best.

As believers, we truly do need to stress to people that God does love them, that each person is very special to God, and that God does know the best way for us to conduct ourselves as individuals and as a society, and that violation of God’s directions will lead to suffering and destruction. These basic principles (expressed in that run-on sentence) are key to the Christian faith, and can exist with our without creation, but they certainly do make more sense right now if we acknowledge that God created the universe.

Going on with the topic of evolution, let me pause a moment to share my personal problems with evolution:

1. I do not believe that there is any evidence of interspecies mutation. In other words, I just do not believe that there is sufficient evidence that it is ever possible for a dog to mutate into a cat. I do believe in inner species mutation. Take enough St. Bernards and let them run loose with each other for an inordinate amount of time, and you just might get a chihoua. Maybe. =) But NEVER a cat. (Again, remember, I admit I could be wrong, that is ok, I just haven’t seen enough proof for my mind yet.)

2. I believe the numbers and I don’t like the odds. The statistical odds against some of the most basic, even inner species, mutations that are required for evolution are staggering! While I do believe in a young earth (read on for explanation of this) even if I was willing to give billions of years, I still don’t think all of these could have happened by accident. The odds are just too high. I know that some wild ideas have been developed to cope with this, but those haven’t been proven either.

3. Finally, I do not believe that genetic mutations benefit the animal in a majority of cases. I think the evidence will bear out that most genetic mutations actually harm the animal. Some do benefit the animal, however, then we get back to point number two. If only one in a thousand mutations benefit the animal, and we need several billion to turn a fish into a lizard (and we probably need more than that), then we have a real problem. I think the fish would be much better off just staying in the water and learning to knit. Remember, animals don’t “mutate on purpose,” they just mutate at random, and the mutations that benefit the animal become mainstream because the animals with these beneficial mutations live longer or are stronger than their counterparts, and thus the “fittest” procreate more. It is really very complicated for the poor fish.

Personally I do not believe in evolution. I believe in the literal seven day creation. However, I believe that as we look at evidence of things we cannot actually see, we often actually look past creation into the pre-created earth in the mind of God. God may have actually evolved the world in His mind, and then spoke it into existence, with all of the evidence of the evolutionary process of His thinking up the world in His mind fleshed out instantly in the created version that we live in now.

Here is an analogy. If you look at a computer program’s source code, as you read it, you may start to get the idea that the writer started by writing a very simple program, and then slowly transformed it into a more and more advanced program. This is most likely the truth. The programmer did do that. However, what he finally released as executable code was the finished product as you see it. He didn’t just put out the basic code on the computer and it just happen, by chance (possibly because of frequent crashes of Microsoft Windows that corrupted the hard drive) to mutate into the much more advanced program you now have. Yes, there was a process of development, but it was all pre-delivery. I believe if there is any evidence of evolution it is “pre-creation” within God’s mind.

This is also my view of the problems of an old earth versus young earth. The physical earth that exists (we won’t get into existence right now) is young. Some measures of age show this physical age, while others actually delve into the pre-created earth which is as old as, well, God! (God is eternal, so the lengths of time are limitless. Some bounds of time were obviously inserted when He created the universe and time itself, which the universe was inserted into.)

To put it simply, and be a little silly on purpose, we are literally a figment of God’s imagination.

What is exciting about this is that I believe that if we could really study earth’s origins, we can actually study the inner workings of God’s mind, or at least part of it!! You have to realize, however, that for a Christian, the purpose of science is to learn more about himself and his world in order to learn about the God who created him and his world. Many scientists are either atheists, or conduct their work in an atheistic manner, and therefore their outlook and the results of their work is very secular. They learn for the sake of learning, out of pure curiosity. There is nothing wrong with this, but you must appreciate that they won’t have any interest in God in their study.

Perhaps these scientists will prove us all wrong. =) Every Christian today is perfectly comfortable with heliocentrism, and any apparent contradiction to this in the Bible is quickly overlooked or explained away. It is the fact that the evidence for heliocentrism is so obvious to even the must unlearned child that makes this easy. I am sure that someday the evidence for or against evolution will be the same.

Oh, and how about an opposing example? Look up spontaneous generation (Aristotelian abiogenesis, see: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spontaneous_generation This is a good article that also touches on the origins of life in general from non-organic origins). Scientists (though very primitive) really did believe in it, and really taught it to people. It sounds so stupid now that it is just a joke.

I look forward to the day when evolution is either as clear as heliocentrism, or as stupid as spontaneous generation. Until then, let’s just all get along and look at the facts, and not make more or less of them than the facts themselves warrant.

Oh, and what about the problems I presented for Christians if God didn’t create the universe? I don’t have the answer to that. I claim ignorance. Currently I haven’t been convinced of the obviousness of evolution, so I stick to creation as I know it. I have faith in and trust my God, the God of the Bible. I know that if evolution is proven, then God will not cease to exist. My only word of caution is this. If you decide to allow yourself to believe in evolution and dismiss the seven day creation account of the Bible, be careful. Many Christians quickly move from that on to dismissing many other parts of the Bible. If we start picking and choosing what to accept from the Bible, then really we have no anchor and are as adrift as the rest of the world. You too could end up as one of those people making choices in your life based on the idea that no one really knows what is best, and that we can just change the rules that govern society as we think best. Every boat swings on its anchor, and we can lengthen or shorten the rope, but without any anchor at all the boat will be completely out of control until it runs aground or sinks.
Posted 8/14/2006 10:48 AM


To comment on my own writing:
I wrote this some months ago. My feelings have actually changed quite a bit since then.

Mainly I think that the “evolution vs. creation” debate misses the entire point of the Gospel.

That said, I heard some men recently that expressed the whole issue in ways that just amazed me. They truly expressed my feelings.

I knew they were on the right track when one of them was asked (basically) “Does God exist?” and his response was basically this:

“To ask if God exists is not a logical question because God is not an object.”

Wow! Now THAT is my kind of thinking!

They were on a recent NPR show: http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=5617850

I hope to get and read their books soon. From what I heard on the above show (and I must admit, I have not heard the entire show yet) they seem to have seen their way past the debates to the real point.
Posted 8/14/2006 11:05 AM by ThinkingOnTheEdge

Here are the books I hope to read:

The Language of God: A Scientist Presents Evidence for Belief
by Francis S. Collins

God’s Universe
by Owen Gingerich

Coming to Peace With Science: Bridging the Worlds Between Faith and Biology
by Darrel R. Falk, Francis Collins (Foreword)

Francis S. Collins & Owen Gingerich are the two guests on the NPR show I mentioned above.
Posted 8/14/2006 4:19 PM by ThinkingOnTheEdge

Camera Advice

Filed under Knowledge Base on Wednesday, August 9th, 2006 @ 10:50am by Christen
Advice someone gave me on a forum on taking low light shots with my Canon A610:
Have you tried raising the ISO for those handheld low light shots?

The A610 takes really terrific low light shots at ISO 200 or 400.

Use aperture priority and set the aperture at f/2.8. You should get a
high enough shutter speed for a reasonably sharp image - IF your
subjects aren't moving...pretty difficult with small children!

Add Blocking

Filed under Knowledge Base on Wednesday, August 9th, 2006 @ 10:49am by Christen

Ideas for rules to block adds in an OpenBSD PF firewall:

(These are just ripped from google searches, put them in Google and you will find the real author, I did NOT write these.)

# Tables: define large lists of host or network addresses for efficiency
table  persist const { } # nasty hobbitses

# block doubleclick
block in  quick on $ext_if inet from  to any
block out quick on $ext_if inet from ($ext_if) to 

doubleclick = ",,, " # Doubleclick Ad-Server

block out quick on $ext from any to $doubleclick

block in quick on $ext from $doubleclick to any

table  persist { \, \, \, \ \

table  persist { \, \, \ \

# deny pop ads
block in  quick on $ext_if from any to { ,  }
block out quick on $ext_if from { ,  } to any

Brian W. Kernighan

Filed under Quotes on Wednesday, August 2nd, 2006 @ 1:19pm by Christen

“Debugging is twice as hard as writing the code in the first place.
Therefore, if you write the code as cleverly as possible, you are,
by definition, not smart enough to debug it.”

Windows Remote Desktop Protocol

Filed under Knowledge Base on Monday, July 17th, 2006 @ 1:14pm by Christen

You can easily change the port that RDP runs on my modifying this registry entry:



Filed under Unix Notes on Monday, July 10th, 2006 @ 2:42pm by Christen

srsproxy is part of sun’s netconnect monitoring software, you can kill -9 it, it will restart on it’s own

Same for sh_prv, ssha_pvr_exec & ssh_pvr_runner.sh


Filed under Unix Notes on Monday, July 10th, 2006 @ 2:35pm by Christen

Inetd monitors ports and when a connection is made, it passes them to a given program.

The configuration is in /etc/inetd.conf

If you edit that file, to get inetd to read it again, just HUP it:

ps -ef|grep inetd
kill -HUP pid

Mailman & Sendmail

Filed under Unix Notes on Monday, July 3rd, 2006 @ 11:45am by Christen

Mailman works by using the aliases file to have mail sent to certain addresses to a program (mailman) using the aliase file.

Probably, if you get it set up right, you’ll see this error in your maillog:

Jul  3 10:44:36 SERVER smrsh: uid 1: attempt to use “mailman post MAILADDRESS” (stat failed)
Jul  3 10:44:36 SERVER sendmail[5555]: NUMBERS: to=”|/folders/mailman/mail/mailman post MAILADDRESS”, ctladdr= (1/0), delay=00:00:01, xdelay=00:00:00, mailer=prog, pri=30539, dsn=5.0.0, stat=Service unavailable

Here is the text from mailman’s docs:

Problem: I use Sendmail as my mail server, and when I send mail to the list, I get back mail saying, “sh:
mailman not available for sendmail programs”.
Solution: Your system uses the Sendmail restricted shell (smrsh). You need to configure smrsh by creating a
symbolic link from the mail wrapper (‘$prefix/mail/mailman’) to the directory identifying executables allowed
to run under smrsh.
Some common names for this directory are ‘/var/admin/sm.bin’, ‘/usr/admin/sm.bin’ or ‘/etc/smrsh’.
Note that on Debian Linux, the system makes ‘/usr/lib/sm.bin’, which is wrong, you will need to create the
directory ‘/usr/admin/sm.bin’ and add the link there. Note further any aliases newaliases spits out will need to
be adjusted to point to the secure link to the wrapper.

and here is the fix:

ln -s /appl/wfa/mailman/mail/mailman /usr/adm/sm.bin/mailman

God is the Man!

Filed under Xanga on Thursday, June 29th, 2006 @ 3:02pm by Christen

Currently Listening to Hi God! An Ecumenical Program Based on the Human Growth and Development of Children and All Who Are Open to Love

Ok, the arachnophobic reverse Nazi got it right. I am a goof! 🙂

As for Mad Hatter’s comment, it does not fit my agenda, so I am going to ignore it.

Here is my answer.

We all know the story of Job. Job loved God and followed God very closely. One day Satan asked God if he could mess with Job to try to get him to leave God, and God let him.

So Satan did a lot of bad things to Job, right? But the last time Satan is mentioned in Job is in Chapter 2. What happened after that? Did Job carry on about how “God didn’t cause this, he just allows us to suffer the results of a cursed world?” Did Job’s friends tell him that he was “under attack” from “the enemy?”

No, Job never mentions Satan. In fact, Job specifically attributes what has happened to him to God. “Shall we accept good from God, and not trouble?” Even his wife told him to “Curse God and die!” Curse God?!?! Why not Satan, didn’t he do it?

No, and that is just my point. God is in charge here. Satan is not an independent actor. Whether we dig into the deep mire of logic about how God created Satan and knew what he would do, or if we just examine the fact that Satan had to ask God before he could do anything, the bottom line is that God is in charge.

We are not “under attack,” nor do things “just happen.” God is in charge. God is the primary mover in our lives. Hurricane Katrina was part of God’s plan, and so is every event in the life of every one of His children.

I know it does not play well for most apologists to have to say, “Yes, God causes really nasty things to happen to people,” but He does. A lot of people seem to work hard to get God “off the hook” for a lot of things, but God never tried that.

So next time you wonder why? Don’t try to get God off the hook. Instead, ask God. Better yet, try yelling at Him. It is ok, He’s a really big guy, and He can take it. In fact, my bet is that He will like it.

The honest truth is that there are times in my life when I love God, but I do not like Him. I don’t like what He does, and I don’t really care for His tactics. That is ok though. He is in charge, and I love and follow Him anyway. It is human nature for us to try to apologize for those we love, but really, don’t apologize for God. He’s the man. He can take it.

Posted 6/29/2006 3:02 PM


“Who’s in charge?” “YOU are!!”
Sometimes we have less confidence in God than backslidden Israel had in their idols (Judges 6:31):
But Joash replied to the hostile crowd around him, “Are you going to plead Baal’s cause? Are you trying to save him? Whoever fights for him shall be put to death by morning! If Baal really is a god, he can defend himself…”
Posted 6/30/2006 6:15 PM by ThoughtForFood

Try this one for size:
“And it came to pass on the morrow, that the evil spirit from God came upon Saul, and he prophesied in the midst of the house: and David played with his hand, as at other times: and there was a javelin in Saul’s hand. 1 Samuel 18:10”
Posted 7/7/2006 2:53 PM by novisigothsorkangaroos

So what you are saying is that when Saul took the javelin and trew it at David, Saul was moved by God, and since David was a man of God, in effect:
God took a pot shot at Himself and missed.
Interesting . . .
Posted 7/8/2006 9:03 PM by ThinkingOnTheEdge

How ’bout this one?
“So now the Lord has put a lying spirit in the mouths of all these prophets of yours. The Lord has decreed disaster for you.” 1 Kings 22:23
Refering to Ahab’s prophets before he went and got killed.
Posted 7/12/2006 12:38 AM by madhatterb78

that is so true. God did not give us yelling voices for nothing. alot of people think if they yell at God he will smite them or something when it is the oposite he will give you life and knowledge if you would only ask!. have a good week. later
Posted 8/11/2006 2:39 PM by mynameischrisandimbored

Not very many people address that one. Good for you.
Posted 8/17/2006 9:59 PM by missionarym

How to do a screenshot on the Zaurus (and on X in general?)

Filed under Unix Notes on Thursday, June 29th, 2006 @ 9:38am by Christen

This is straight out of the forums at www.oesf.org

Use the following command:
xwd -display :0.0 -root -out screenshot.xwd
this will take a screenshot right away – so often its better to use:
sleep 5;xwd -display :0.0 -root -out screenshot.xwd
then use gimp to convert.

If you install Imagemagick you can convert it directly, I use a simple script I like this to take the screenshot, convert and name it with a unique name. Adjust the sleep command and the location of where the files go to your liking.

sleep 10

if test -z “$1″; then
let i=1
echo $f
while test -f $f; do
let i=1+$i


xwd -display :0.0 -root -out “$f”.xwd
convert “$f”.xwd “$f”
rm “$f”.xwd

Just who do you think you are anyway?!

Filed under Xanga on Sunday, June 25th, 2006 @ 12:11am by Christen

Currently Listening to The Live Set by Michael W. Smith

Today’s Bible study is on the “law of first mention.”

The first mention of the word “Satan” in the NIV bible is here:
1 Chronicles 21:1
Satan rose up against Israel and incited David to take a census of Israel.

And just to be sure we understand who Satan is, here is the identical passage in Samuel:

2 Samuel 24:1
Again the anger of the LORD burned against Israel, and he incited David against them, saying, “Go and take a census of Israel and Judah.”

From this we can learn that, umm, well you tell me. It is one of my favorite passages.

I’ll save my take on it for another entry though.
Posted 6/25/2006 12:11 AM


You’re a goof. 🙂
Posted 6/25/2006 10:39 PM by novisigothsorkangaroos

I’ll be interested to hear your take on it.
Posted 6/26/2006 9:59 AM by midwifebethany

Sounds like “Yin and Yang” to me!
Posted 6/26/2006 3:12 PM by Krash2Fly

Let’s see… That God lets Satan do His dirty work?
Posted 6/26/2006 3:13 PM by ThoughtForFood

You’ll notice from the passages that God incited David against Israel, while satan incited him to take the sensus .
Posted 6/26/2006 11:28 PM by madhatterb78

StarShip Titanic Game on Windows XP

Filed under Knowledge Base on Thursday, June 22nd, 2006 @ 12:29pm by Christen

Douglass Adams created a video game called Starship Titanic. It is a must-see for any fan of his work.

However, it does not work properly on Windows XP. I used to run it on Windows 98, but my most recent computer has a video card that has no drivers for Windows 98.

What happens on XP, is that the game runs fine, but there are “blank” spots in the game. What those are is places where the program uses AVI files to play video clips.

The culprit is the iccvid.dll file. The latest version just does not work for this game. The file, in XP, is in c:\windows\system32

The solution: Just copy iccvid.dll from an older system into Starship Titanic’s directory! I am told that the file from XP SP1 works. I haven’t tried that yet. I used a file from Windows 98, and it works great!
So, if you want to run Starship Titanic on XP, just get an old version of iccvid.dll and put it in C:\program Files\The Digital Village\Starship Titanic\ You do not need to bother the non-working dll in c:\windows\system32\ , because the program will look in the local directory FIRST for the dll and then in the system32 directory later.

If you do not have an old copy of iccvid.dll, I have put a copy of it here on my web site. iccvid.dll This is from Windows 98 SE. It is version

Here is a newer version of ICCVID.DLL that I found on the web here. It is version I think it might work slightly smoother than the Windows 98 file.

Note the version in XP that does NOT work is, so the above is apparently the most recent that will work. I also find it interesting that the files get smaller as the versions get newer.

Again, please do not risk putting this this file in c:\windows\system32, instead just put it in the directory with the ST.exe file (the Starship Titanic executable). It will use the copy that is in the folder with it. It searches there first.

(BTW, I found this out by using FileMon from SysTernals. That is an awesome troubleshooting program!)

I’m back!

Filed under Xanga on Saturday, June 17th, 2006 @ 9:26pm by Christen

Currently Listening to Life by Andy Hunter

I’m back!
Actually, I never went anywhere, so I can’t be back . . . umm, so where am I?

A lot of my friends, close, distant, and some that I just really care for deeply but otherwise don’t know from Adam are here on Xanga, so I thought I’d dive in and start one of these things.

Besides, Xanga is a cool place to goof off on the web! 🙂
Posted 6/17/2006 9:26 PM


hey dude. I have a tracker on my xanga and I saw that you came to mine. well I c you just made one and It looks awesome. How do you know nathan?
Posted 6/18/2006 1:08 PM by mynameischrisandimbored

oh ha ha ha yea we should do another puppet show. later
Posted 6/22/2006 1:53 PM by mynameischrisandimbored

random props…….whats thy name????
mines Brittany……but my close friends call me ZANNY
Posted 6/22/2006 7:07 PM by fall_out_boy_rox_my_sox_off

Root’s Shell

Filed under Unix Notes on Tuesday, June 13th, 2006 @ 8:26am by Christen

In the old days when /usr was a separate file system, making your shell /bin/ksh was not a good thing, because /bin was a link to /usr/bin and if /usr didn’t mount you had no shell. However, /sbin is part of root so you always had /sbin.

At least here, the way our filesystem is normally laid out today, /usr is part of / so this isn’t an issue.

I always change the shell to /bin/ksh, make sure you make it /bin and not /sbin or you will lock your self out of the box.

So, in short, make sure your shell will be available if ONLY / mounts.

Also, it is a good idea to test that you can log into the box again before terminating the connection you used to make the change.

SUN Solaris & Veritas bug

Filed under Unix Notes on Wednesday, May 31st, 2006 @ 8:00am by Christen

There is bug in Veritas volume manager 3.5 and greater with an encapsulated rootdisk and ufs logging enabled. We enable ufs logging on systems running Solaris 8, and on Solaris 9 it is enabled by default. The error message you see is below as well as a resolution to this problem. Anyone with systems running Solaris 8 or greater needs to verify that logging is either disabled or that the necessary patch for Veritas volume manager is applied. See the sunsolve article for patch numbers and fixes.

00:19:24: WARNING: Error writing ufs log state
00:19:32: WARNING: ufs log for / changed state to Error
00:19:32: WARNING: Please umount(1M) / and run fsck(1M)
00:19:33: WARNING: Error writing master during ufs log roll
00:19:33: WARNING: ufs log for / changed state to Error
00:19:33: WARNING: Please umount(1M) / and run fsck(1M)
00:19:34: Cannot mount root on /pseudo/vxio@0:0 fstype ufs


Example commands to check your server:
grep -i /rootvol /etc/vfstab
pkginfo -l VRTSvxvm | grep VERSION
patchadd -p | grep 112392

If you do not want to apply the patch, you can add nologging to the end of the rootvol and var mount lines in /etc/vfstab like this: (one line with and one without)
/dev/vx/dsk/rootvol /dev/vx/rdsk/rootvol / ufs 1 no nologging
/dev/vx/dsk/var /dev/vx/rdsk/var /var ufs 1 no –

You must reboot for the above to take affect, either way. It may take two reboots for it to actually “take” when going from “nologging” to “-” The first boot creates the metaspace for the log, and the second actually starts logging.

IF you DO get a machine that will not boot because of this, then you can try booting from the oscopy disk and fixing things like this:

In the OBP:

ok setenv auto-boot? false
ok reset-all
(it won’t try to boot since auto-boot is false)

ok boot oscopy -s

vxdisk list

ksh -o vi

mount /dev/dsk/c1t0d0s0 /mnt
cd /mnt
ls -la
umount /mnt
fsck /dev/dsk/c1t0d0s0 /mnt
#IF var also has trouble:

mount /dev/dsk/c1t0d0s5 /mnt/var
cd /mnt/var
umount /mnt/var
mount -o nologging n/dev/dsk/c1t0d0s5 /mnt/var
umount /mnt/var
umount /mnt
You have to keep doing it until all errors are gone. You could try this:

for i in 0 5 6 7
fsck -o f -y /dev/rdsk/c1t0d0s${i}

fsck -o f -y /dev/rdsk/c1t0d0s${i}

OVER AND OVER until ALL errors are gone
See if it will work:

mount -o nologging /dev/dsk/c1t0d0s0 /mnt
You must also change the logging status:
cd /mnt/etc
vi vfstab

in vfstab
add nologging to the end of the rootvol and var mount lines

Change the Gateway (Default Router) on SUN

Filed under Unix Notes on Thursday, May 11th, 2006 @ 3:22pm by Christen

The default route is carried in a file called /etc/defaultrouter which is read at boot time. In order to avoid having to reboot, you can also add a default route manually and delete the old one.

Here are the steps I took to change the default route on a host recently:

#first do a traceroute for later comparison

traceroute knownhost.anothersub.net

#This command will show you the current default route
netstat -rn

#just for the record, take a look at what the route is now, if any
cat /etc/defaultrouter

#This sets the new default route for the next reboot
echo “” > /etc/defaultrouter

#Again, just checking to be sure it worked!
cat /etc/defaultrouter

#Now we add the new default route to the current routing table
#If you are going to reboot, you do not need to do this step
route add default

#and we take out the old one
#If you are going to reboot, you do not need to do this step
route delete default

#Now we check that the new route is in and the old one is gone
netstat -rn

#and we do one last traceroute and compare it to the first one to see that our work had some affect
traceroute knownhost.anothersub.net

I usually log all of this, just for the record.

NOTE that you can do this while connected remotely via SSH. It will not drop your connection, although it doesn’t hurt to have a console connection open and logged in case you change it to a non-working gateway and need to quickly putit back!

Mounted File system and Mount Point permissions

Filed under Unix Notes on Tuesday, March 21st, 2006 @ 12:12pm by Christen

The permissions on a folder used as a mount point, and the permissions on the top of the filesystem itself are not related.

In other words. If you ls on a directory and then mount a filesystem to that directory and run the same ls command, the permissions will look different.


1. Restrict the permissions on the mount point (directory) to be read only. This way, if the filesystem is not mounted for some reason no one can write any files to the directory. This will prevent two things. First, it will prevent someone from filling up the root filesystem by accident. Second, it will prevent files from getting spread out across the directory (inside the mount point) and the filesystem itself. It can be a real mess trying to resync up a filesystem and the files stuck in the directory.

2. When creating a new filesystem, be sure to mount it, and set the permissions, since you can’t do this without the filesystem being mounted.

How do you tell if a directory is just that, or if it is it’s own filesystem? df -k :

root> df -k /home
/home (/dev/vg00/lvol5 ) : 20464 total allocated Kb
8728 free allocated Kb
11736 used allocated Kb
57 % allocation used
root> df -k /etc
/ (/dev/vg00/lvol3 ) : 143360 total allocated Kb
3976 free allocated Kb
139384 used allocated Kb
97 % allocation used
See, /home is its own filesystem, but /etc is in /, as you can see above.

What do you do if you have a directory full of files that should have been in a filesystem mounted at that point?

First, mount the filesystem manually to another directory. Under temp or something.

Use fuser to see if any of the files are open. They must not be.

Then do something like this to get the files over to the mount point.

cd /directory_that_should_not_have_files_in_it

find . -depth -xdev | cpio -dumpx /tmp/mount_point

man find so you can verify my switches here (HPUX). These find switches say to traverse the directory tree first (-depth) and don’t cross a mount point (-xdev). The cpio switches say -d make the directories first, -u unconditionally -m retain modify times -p pass-through from std in and -x save or restore special files.

Now unmount the filesystem from the temp location and mount it properly. Oh! First fix the permissions on that directory so that next time the application or user cannot write to it!

Who is holding a file open?

Filed under Unix Notes on Monday, March 13th, 2006 @ 2:53pm by Christen

lsof will tell you who is using what file system. It is a pretty standard unix util, but not all OS’s install it by default. There is a package to install it on HPUX

man lsof

fuser can also be used to find out what proccess has a file open on a file system

man fuser

Running out of free space in /var on HPUX

Filed under Unix Notes on Monday, March 13th, 2006 @ 11:24am by Christen

cd /var
bdf .
= free space just here

cleanup -c 1 = clean up any patches that have been superceded at least ome time. May free up some space

check /var/tombstones
check /var/adm/wtmp = last user login info, type “last” to get the info, most systems zero this out daily

Use this to list how much space is used by each directory, starting with the biggest. Useful for spotting where the problem may be:
du -kxa . | sort -rn | more


> filename = zero a file out, used for open files! (same as cat /dev/null > filename)

/var/adm/wtmp holds the info that “last” shows It gets quite huge if noone cleans it out. Most boxes have a cron job to do this just:
> /var/adm/wtmp to empty it

last = last good login
lastb = last login failure

Remember to cp things out to another filesystem and gzip them before zeroing them out if you are unsure about whether they will be needed later or not.

Open Log Files

Filed under Unix Notes on Monday, March 13th, 2006 @ 11:02am by Christen

I’ve patched this together, some of my facts may be wrong, but I think the solution is right.
When an application is writing to a file, it may keep the file open. The application will “grab” the file and open a “handle.” If you delete the file, the application still has an open handle to the file’s “inode.” Deleting or moving the file out from under the application can have some bad affects. One possibility is that the applicatoin just keeps writing to the same handle, and the space is not cleared from the drive. So if your drive was filling up, it just keeps filling. Another possibility is that the application just gets upset and will not log anymore until you restart it.

The solution is to “zero” the file instead by simply running:

cat /dev/null > file_name

this has become such a common thing to do that on most Unix flavors this does the same thing:

> file_name

That will “zero” the file so that it is empty, but leave the inode alone, and the open handle that the applicatoin has open will still work, but now your disk wil have more free space again!

If you need to preserve the file’s contents, use the cp command to copy the file to somewhere else first befire you “zero” it. Then gzip the copy. Just don’t ever use mv or rm on an open file!

The best thing to do is stop the application, then move the log, then restart it, but usually you don’t want to do that, and besides, isn’t “uptime” what unix is all about? Also, some application simply open the file for each log entry and then close it again, in which case you can rm or mv the file, but knowing that is more difficult than just using the “zero” method above

Logical Volume Manager (LVM) on HPUX

Filed under Unix Notes on Thursday, March 9th, 2006 @ 4:36pm by Christen

See page 495 of “HPUX CSA” by Rafeeq Rehman
This entry contains notes from training by coworkers, personal experience, and the above mentioned book. I do not claim any of it to be original with me, unless you see a mistake. I am sure the mistakes are mine.

Take a look at your disks. An easy way is to use bdf. This is kind of the HPUX equivalent of df.

vgdisplay will show all of the existing volume groups, and vgdisplay -v will give the details about the logical and physical volumes in the group.

Each volume group has a unique directory under /dev/ where the LVM device files are kept.
Here we call them vg*

/dev/vg00 will usually be the volume for the onboard disks, where HPUX lives. The other vg’s will probably exist on drives from an SAN

Each /dev/vg*/ directory contains three things:

A group file.
– It is a “c” (character special) file
– Each volume group needs one of these files. It is created before the vg is actually built
– It must have a unique “minor number.” The minor number is a hexidcimal number starting with 0x in the long listing. The first two digits are the vg #. The last four digits are always 0’s. If you name your vg groups vg01, vg02, vg03, etc, then you can make the minor number correspond to the vg name. Otherwise I’m not sure that there is any direct correlation.
– The major number for all LVM device files is 64
root:/dev/vg00> ll group
crwxr-xr-x 1 root sys 64 0x000000 Dec 12 2003 group

The minor number for the group file must be unique for each vg (it is a hex number). You only work with the first two digits, the last four are always 0000.
A “b” (block device) file for each logical volume
– This is the device you mount

A “c” (character special) file for each logical volume called rlvolname
-This is the raw device, used to format the filesystem

Each logical volume device file will have the major number 64, and the minor number wil be the same as the group file’s, but with the last digits showing the lv number. Again, like the vg#’s, they may or may not correspond to the names (LV01, LV02, etc.), but they will be sequential. See pg 499 of the HPUX CSA book.
You can see the various mount pounts (logical volumes) for HPUX under /dev/vg00
– Remember, group is not a lvol, it is a special file for the vg

The first thing you have to do before making a new vg is find out what the 0x numbers are for the goup file in each volume group, so that we can make a new one.

To find all of them:
find /dev -name group -exec ls -al {} \;

root:/root> find /dev -name group -exec ls -al {} \;
crwxr-xr-x 1 root sys 64 0x000000 Dec 12 2003 /dev/vg00/group
crw——- 1 root sys 64 0x040000 Mar 8 11:04 /dev/vgfapp/group
crw——- 1 root sys 64 0x050000 Mar 8 11:04 /dev/vgfdata/group

or just typing this usually works too:
ll /dev/*/group
(ll = ls -la on non HPUX machines)

So now we can use 0x020000, 0x030000, or 0x060000 and above. They don’t have to be sequential, but there isn’t any point in using random numbers here.

mkdir /dev/vg02

man vgcreate: look under examples, the mkdir and mknod command is right there

mknod /dev/vg02/group c 64 0x020000

We are telling it to make a character special file, with a major number of 64 (all volume groups have a major number of 64) and the minor number of 0x020000 (which we explained above).

Now we need to find some free hard drives (disks) to use:

The disks on the system are listed here:
ls /dev/dsk/*

To list all of the existing volume groups, and show what disks they are using you can run this:
vgdisplay -v

ioscan -funCdisk shows a bunch of disks, but how do we know how/when/where they are used? Plus with a SAN, there is a primary and an alternate path to each disk (they look like two disks to the system, but they are not), so the SAN disks show twice. You really only have half of the number listed.

Again, how do I know if they are bing used? – HP has no good way of telling you waht is not used.

ls /dev/dsk/* will tell us what disks are available to HPUX
for i in `ls /dev/dsk/*`; do pvdisplay $i; done 1>/dev/null
-so the errors are the drives that are not in a volume group (we piped the stin to null and just watched stderr)


To get a good list of available drives:
for i in `ls /dev/dsk/*`; do pvdisplay $i; done 2>/tmp/disk.out
cat /tmp/disk.out | grep -v Could | grep -v belongs | cut -d’ ‘ -f6 | sed s/\”//g | sed s/\.$//g > /tmp/disklist
(rm /tmp/disk.out)

Ok, now /tmp/disklist has a list of available disks.
Just to double check our list:

for i in `cat /tmp/disk2/`;do pvdisplay $i;done 2> /dev/null

-We piped error to null, but ALL should return errors, thus Should be BLANK, meaning everything in the list was NOT a volume

(Remember, all disks on an HP box are in a vg if they are used.)

Now we know what disks are not being used, however, half of those are alternate links. How do we know which ones?

EMC SAN Arrays:

inq -sortsymm = this is an EMC tool, so it works if we have EMC disks in the box Each disk has a serial number. The first 3 digits (220) is the frame serial number, next two E8 is the disk, last part is the frame. So here you can see what drives are the same drive. The Array usually has a bunch of 72 gig drives, but they are shown to us as 8 gig drives. Internal drives will always be a d0, b/c they are not carved up.

Usually with EMC disks, the C#’s are different but the t and d #’s are the same for the same drive on the EMC. It doesn’t have to be that way though, so watch those serial numbers.

Each EMC drive has a unique serial #, so you can see if two disks on the local system are just redundant paths to the same EMC path.

To combine the free disk list from HPUX with the serial number list from the Hitachi SAN, and get a list of availalbe drives with serial numbers:

for i in `ls /dev/dsk/*`; do pvdisplay $i; done 2>/tmp/disk.out
cat /tmp/disk.out | grep -v Could | grep -v belongs | cut -d’ ‘ -f6 | sed s/\”//g | sed s/\.$//g > /tmp/disklist
rm /tmp/disk.out

inq -sortsymm | grep “rdsk” > /tmp/seriallist
for i in kk`cat /tmp/disklist | cut -d”/” -f4`; do grep $i /tmp/seriallist;done | sort -k 5 > /tmp/availabledisklist
rm /tmp/disklist
rm /tmp/seriallist
Echo Your list is in “/tmp/availabledisklist”
#Maybe we could combine a few more commands and ellimnate one more temp file, but the commands start to get insane

Obviously the DVD-ROM isn’t “available” and any other “local” drives are not what we want. The list should clearly show if they are EMC drives or something else.

Also, there are what may be EMC “control” disks, they are small 4 meg, and 2 meg drives. Don’t use these. Just use the ones that are in the standard 8gig size.

Hitachi SAN Arrays:

lunstat -ts | egrep “Serial|Device” | paste -s -d”\t\n” –

This will list the devices with the serial numbers, so you can see which drives are identical.
(Be sure to sanity check it all. The ctd numbers should be similar for same drives, when you add drives to the volume, it should automatically recognize them as “alernate paths” to the same drive.

Don’t use drives that are not on the SAN. They will have different serial numbers.

To combine the free disk list from HPUX with the serial number list from the Hitachi SAN, and get a list of availalbe drives with serial numbers:

for i in `ls /dev/dsk/*`; do pvdisplay $i; done 2>/tmp/disk.out
cat /tmp/disk.out | grep -v Could | grep -v belongs | cut -d’ ‘ -f6 | sed s/\”//g | sed s/\.$//g > /tmp/disklist
rm /tmp/disk.out

lunstat -ts | egrep “Serial|Device|Manufacturer” | paste -s -d”\t\t\n” – > /tmp/seriallist
for i in `cat /tmp/disklist | cut -d”/” -f4`; do grep $i /tmp/seriallist;done | sort -k 9 > /tmp/availabledisklist
rm /tmp/disklist
rm /tmp/seriallist
Echo Your list is in “/tmp/availabledisklist”
#Maybe we could combine a few more commands and ellimnate one more temp file, but the commands start to get insane

The list should clearly show if they are Hitachi drives or something else. We don’t want the drives made by “HP,” etc. They are either internal disks, or things like the DVD-ROM. You can always check on them with ioscan -funCdisk

(Note, that the Hitachi lunstat program works on EMC arrays, so you can use it if you want. However, the EMC inq program does not report the serial number on Hitachi drives, so you it will not work for them.)

Now, to create a volume group:

pvcreate /dev/rdsk/c29t12d2 -> told us it already belongs a to a volume group
pvdisplay /dev/dsk/c29t12d2 -> says no volume group
-problem is, the drive WAS a member of a volume group, but isn’t anymore
–if you vgreduce this drive out of the volume group before you export the vg, this probably won’t happen
-if you are SURE it is not used anymore then:
pvcreate -f /dev/rdsk/c29t12d2 – DANGER! this will wipe out a drive, very careful! the -f forces it.

man vgcreate
vgcreate -e 30000 vg02 /dev/dsk/c29t12d2 – must give it at least one drive.

NOTE: -e sets the Max PE per PV Once you create the volume group and use the disk, by default whatever size that disk is, that is the largets disk you can add by default. If you built it with a 4 gig disk and then later added a 20gig disk, you could only use 4 gigs on the 20gig disk. Instead, we say, give me X “PE Size (Mbytes) extents = Max PE per PV. John always uses 30000 for Max PE per PV, with PE Size (Mbytes) of 4 (default PE size).

vgdisplay (and there it is!) (size is Total PE x PE Size)

Now find the other drive with the same serial number and add it, it should show up as an “alternate link”

vgextend vg02 /dev/dsk/c27t12d2
– It figures out that this is the same disk and adds it as an “Alternate Link”
– You only need to use pvcreate on the disk once, not once for each “link”
pvcreate /dev/rdsk/c29t12d3
pvdispaly /dev/rdsk/c29t12d3
pvcreate -f /dev/rdsk/c29t12d3
vgextend vg02 /dev/dsk/c29t12d3
vgreduce vg02 /dev/dsk/c29t12d3
vgextend vg02 /dev/dsk/c27t12d3 (Swapp controllers, so that second drive in the vg has the other controller as primary)
vgextend vg02 /dev/dks/c29t12d3
vgdispay -v
– now primary controller is alternated back and forth, b/c HPUX goes to primary first, then to backup, so this allows the system to use both controllers.

NOTE: We could just put all of the PV names on the same command line with the first vgcreate command, rather than using a bunch of vgextend commands. vgcreate will take the names of multiple physical volumes. A vgextend command will also probably take multiple pv names.

man lvcreate
(size is L or l by size or le number)
lvcreate -L 1000m -n lvol1 vg02
vgdisplay -v (now some disk space is missing from PV’s and there is an LV)

(try to mount it)
cd /
mkdir chris
mount /dev/vg02/lvol1 /chris

newfs -F vxfs /dev/vg02/rlvol2
(newfs is a front end for mkfs)
mount /dev/vg02/lvol1 /chris
It worked!

Set permissions on the filesystem after you mount it. Setting them on the mount directory first doesn’t do any good.

(now make it 2000m)

lvextend -L 2000m /dev/vg02/lvol1

vgdisplay -v
(now it is bigger)

(not bigger 🙁 )
We gave the lvol more, but not the filessytem

fsadm -b 2000m /chris

Now the FS has been expanded in place, online

(man pages for fsadm are incorrect, what we did is not in there)

swlist | grep -i online
– fsadm to do this is called “onlinejfs”

DIG FOR SOME FSADM documentation!

mount – will show it is there
vi /etc/fstab
/dev/vg02/lvol1 /chris vxfs delaylog 0 2 (0 & 2 is for when to check for dirty bit, 1 = at boot 2= later)

umount /chris

now you can just type
mount /chris
and it knows where to mount it

to remove a volume use vgexport

umount /chris
vgdisplay -v
(good to back it down)
(Remove alternate links first, if you do pri first, it just switches alt to pri, doesnt’ really matter, but…)
lvremove /dev/vg02/lvol1
vgreduce vg02 /dev/dsk/c27t12d3
vgreduce vg02 /dev/dsk/c29t12d3
(I don’t think you can reduce the last disk out of the volume group)
vgchange -a n vg02
vgexport vg02 (dn’t be in /dev/vg02 when you do this or it won’t remove the directory)
vgdisplay -v

Create a mirrored volume?

lvextend -m 1 /dev/vgora/lvolora

-But that won’t work if we only have one pv in the vg! You can turn off strict, but it is really silly.

pvcreate /dev/rdsk/c35t9d2
vgextend vgora /dev/dsk/c35t9d2
vgextend vgora /dev/dsk/c34t9d2

lvextend -m 1 /dev/vgora/lvolora

Make a stripe set?

lvcreate -L 1000m -n lvolstripeset -i 3 -I 128 vgora

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