On the Sidelines
A friend of mine was recenlty killed in Iraq. I wasn’t particularly close to him. In fact, I knew his sisters much better than him. His death is one of those things that I look at more like something disturbing on the evening news, than as a personal tragedy.
I do however feel very deeply for his family who is left behind. Unfortuantly, because I neither share in their personal grief over the loss, because I was not close to him, nor do I have any personal experience of such a loss that will allow me to relate, nor is my friendship with them quite close enough to be the shoulder they might cry on, I am basically just a bystander.
It is very odd to just stand on the side, and watch people that you love suffer. I feel like I am in this place a lot though. It is how I felt about hurricane Katrina. Having lived there before, I felt the tragedy and loss very greatly, but now living in Kansas, I cannot personally participate in the grief. Just standing on the sidelines, watching people I love in great pain.
When we see a car wreck, we all naturally want to help, but most of us don’t really have the knowledge or resources to be much of any help. I struggle back and forth over whether my feelings are of a sincere wish that these people could be helped, or whether they are simply selfish feelings of wishing that I could somehow be some sort of hero. I don’t suppose it really matters what the cause is, and probably it is both.
